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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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My sister and I growing apart? - August 29th 2018, 04:11 AM

For as long as I can remember, my little sister and I have been inseparable. We did everything together. But recently, all she wants to do is read her fucking fanfiction. It's all she thinks about. I actually make attempts at trying to do things with her. The one thing we've both always loved was role-playing. I've tried and tried to get her to roleplay with me but she just won't. She won't do anything with me, we don't talk as much and it's frustrating. Because in all honesty, she's my best friend, but she doesn't want to do anything with me anymore. It's gone from disappointing to frustrating, and now it's just getting increasingly depressing. I've always counted on her to want to hang out with me, and now that she won't, I don't really know what to do with myself. And I can't really go to friends because the only one I have can never hang out with me because her parents don't like me anymore, which is a whole other problem. Anyway, sorry about the long rant about what's probably a really small problem, it's just making my depression and self harm thoughts come back because I just feel like she doesn't want to be around me anymore and why would she?

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Re: My sister and I growing apart? - August 29th 2018, 03:11 PM

Maybe it's not that your sister doesn't want to be around you, but she's just really sucked into fanfiction. Some people really get into their hobbies for a little while. How long has she been into it? She might, at some point, become a little bored or tired of it and want to spend more time with you again.

You said you tried to spend time with her but she's not very into it. Have you told her how you felt? You could use I statements and tell her how you feel when she's busy with her fanfiction.

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Re: My sister and I growing apart? - August 29th 2018, 06:20 PM

My hobbies and interests are ever-changing. What I was interested in doing two weeks ago have gone away. What I'm interested in now might change in a couple weeks. I always find my way back to it, whether that may take months or close to a year or more. With fanfiction, you get sucked into this inexplicable rabbit hole. I understand where you are coming from, because once you get back into fanfiction, it's quite hard to get out of it!

Perhaps you can talk to your sister about what this is doing to you and how it's affecting your relationship with her. Perhaps you can set something where she will only read one chapter of a story (or one story if it's a one-shot) and then go hang out with you. Or, if you want to connect on the same level, perhaps write out a story about your roleplays (ie, with those characters) and give it to her to read. If it's based on something that already exists (a band, a tv show, etc) then it becomes fanfiction, and might appeal to her.

Just some thoughts. Best of luck.
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Re: My sister and I growing apart? - August 30th 2018, 03:05 PM

Hey there, I can relate in a way since I have a younger sister. We were inseparable as you said, always playing together, never had to invite friends over because we had each other.

In my case round about the time I went into my teenage years, I lost interest in all of the games we would play, and she would be upset that I didn't want to play with her. I hated it, I really wanted to be there with her but it just felt like something in me shifted and I couldn't find fun in the same places anymore.
Flash-forwards five years, I'm now the one who wants that connection with her, but now that she is fifteen she's entered a new phase fo growing up and has other things she wants to do, other people she wants to hang out with.

Personally I'm confident that in a few years time when we are both in our twenties, we'll be in a better place to reconnect because we'll be more or less in the same stage of life.
I don't see why it would be any different for you. Your sister is just growing up and discovering herself as an individual -- try to enjoy seeing her grow in that way, even though the distance can be frustrating.

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