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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Astar Offline
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Just wondered what people thought - October 25th 2018, 05:58 PM

Hi, so basically I attend a part time club for children and teens. I知 one of the oldest there (I知 19). All of my good friends there are at least 2 years younger than me (between 14 and 17). Is this ok? We are all good friends although I have hugged/held hands with many of them in a joke way before. I genuinely think of all of them as friends and with many of them I have spent hours talking about my life and theirs, and helping them-as well as them helping me. This particular applies for one of them who is 14. We have been really close since they joined the club (a year ago) and literally talk about everything. We are 100% mates... I kinda thing of them as a sibling I didn稚 have! But we have hugged and stuff sometimes... Cos that痴 what friends do... is that allowed though? I知 really worried I知 breaking the law spending my weekends being close friends with people a lot younger than me... I知 even thinking about quitting. I really only attend the club to see my friends, but I知 wondering if I知 gonna be in trouble for spending too much time with them... just so you know, in the week I have friends at work and other mates who are more similar in age too me, but have spent my weekends for several years at club.
what do you all think??


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Re: Just wondered what people thought - October 25th 2018, 07:44 PM

I don't think you are breaking the law. The law is usually only concerned about the age of consent, so if you were to do anything sexual with someone under the age of consent, then you would be breaking the law. But since you are good friends and you joke around and hug, but nothing sexual, then I don't think you are breaking the law.

It's really good that you have such close friends that you can talk to and I'm sure they feel the same about you too! It's okay to be friends with people of all ages, but you being the older one may mean that you have slightly more 'power' in the relationship. As long as you set a good example to your younger friends and have some boundaries in place (as in you aren't relying exclusively on your younger friends for support) then there's nothing wrong with your friendship.

It would be a shame if you left the club...do you know if there is an age limit? You could always ask, just to make sure, but since you've been there for a while, I imagine that you are well known and liked and it wouldn't be a problem for you to stay. If you are concerned, you could always cut down a bit on the hugs or make sure that there is a responsible adult/staff member around so no-one can accuse you of anything.

If you and your friends (and anyone relevant like parents or staff members) are okay with it, then you should be fine. And as you all get older, I'm sure you won't be worrying so much about it. Enjoy the friendships you have


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Re: Just wondered what people thought - October 25th 2018, 10:51 PM

I was friends with two individuals who were 14 (turned 15 shortly after meeting them) when I was almost 21. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it and it isn't weird unless you make it weird. If this/these individuals have no problem with you being a bit older than them, then you shouldn't turn it into a problem. Just carry on as you have been with them.
   
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Re: Just wondered what people thought - November 9th 2018, 06:35 AM

I think this is not considered a violation of the law.
   
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Re: Just wondered what people thought - November 9th 2018, 03:53 PM

not experience
   
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Re: Just wondered what people thought - November 12th 2018, 05:16 AM

This is not a violation of the law, clearly
   
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Re: Just wondered what people thought - November 13th 2018, 12:14 AM

Nah, you are not breaking the law. You are both friends(kind of like they are your younger sibling). It is perfectly fine.
   
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