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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Upset - August 15th 2020, 02:07 AM

I don't mean to be upset. We are camping, it is my parents, two sisters and me with our five animals. A family thing, my older sisters boyfriend and his 4 year old daughter showed up at the campsite this morning and she didn't tell anyone. My sister said that her boyfriend doesn't have a lot of money so my parents will pay for him and his daughter. Everyone is fighting now and will not stop.


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Re: Upset - August 17th 2020, 01:51 AM

Hi Emma,

It must definitely have been shocking when your older sister's boyfriend turned up with his daughter to a programme that was meant to be only within your family. It's sad that you and your parents had to go through this and I sincerely hope things are better now.

From a third person's perspective, I think what your sister and her boyfriend did was immature and inappropriate. It's not correct to turn up unannounced like this, and it's even worse that they expected your parents to pay for him and his daughter.

I think this calls for a response to a bigger issue here - it appears that your sister's boyfriend isn't good company. A real gentleman would never do this. Given that he has a daughter, he should exhibit greater responsibility.

After your family gets back home, I think it's important that your parents talk to your older sister about the direction she might be heading if she remains with this guy. Unfortunately, I can't say how fruitful the discussion will be, because when people are in a relationship, they tend to turn a blind eye to certain glaring drawbacks in their partner. That being said, it's worth having a discussion with her.

Sometimes though, the only way people learn things is the hard way. My younger sister has been associated with a religious group for around 4-5 years now, through my family can see that there's more to them that meets the eye - we have always suspected that they're money-minded and show bias to only certain individuals while take advantage of the rest. For years we have tried convincing my sister about this and tried opening her eyes, but she never listened. Recently though, a scandal occurred within their community which shook her trust in them. She has now begun to realise whatever we've been saying and has decided to keep a distance. In a similar manner, I hope your older sister can realise what she might get herself into soon enough, without getting much hurt in the process.

Since her boyfriend has a daughter, it is another dimension for your sister to consider. If she keeps up with her relationship with him, the daughter will end up becoming her responsibility too. She needs to take care.

I hope that things will get better. Feel free to DM me if you'd like to chat about anything at all
   
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Re: Upset - August 17th 2020, 02:28 AM

Hi Emma,

I can understand why you are upset. I would be too if one of my siblings partners and their child turned up unannounced. I don't think your parents should have to pay for them either. The best advice I can give is to talk to your family about what happened and how it made you feel. You might be able to talk to them about avoiding a similar situation from happening. I hope this helped.


   
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Re: Upset - August 17th 2020, 02:54 AM

Hi Emma,

I sincerely hope you and your family feel better now. It really sounds like your older sister and her boyfriend made a very immature and iresponsible move to show up abruptly at your family gathering. Is it possible to ask him to leave the camp? Do they have transportation methods? I have a feeling that he is going to stay, the fight won't stop and that will ruin everyone's mood.
   
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Re: Upset - August 18th 2020, 12:15 PM

Thank you all so much for your replies and help with this. My parents are going to talk to her when we get home today, and let her know how that wasn't ok. Also, my parents didn't want to ask him to go because of the little girl and that would have been mean. Thank you again. Hugs


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