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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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My 'friend' is so mean. - June 14th 2009, 01:00 AM

Today, me and my dad got into a small fight. He refused to drive me to my grandma's, and I really wanted to talk to her and see my little cousin.

So, a few minutes later, my supposed 'friend' and her bf show up out of nowhere. Then she asks me what we're going to do. My dad overheard us and kicked me outside, and I kinda started to cry...I tried to explain that my dad was just being cruel, and I was feeling horrible. She didn't even comfort me. Not in the slightest. She did, however, accuse me of being a liar.

We were sitting out on the front porch, and all she does is take a cigarette out of her purse and tries to light it. That would've gotten me in serious trouble, and I like to keep a good reputation in my town. She continues to make jokes with her bf and talk to him. And just like I predicted, I was already the third wheel.

Then she decided that we're going to go to some wild party at her house. (And I'm definitely not the wild type.) I started to sob because I didn't want to go with them, and she was being horrible to me, and I was already in a bad mood.

So I made up the excuse that I was punished. I started...'bad-talking' my dad. You know, the usual name calling. I tried to explain that he wouldn't let me go anyway. Then both my 'friend' and her bf went up to my dad and told him what I said about him! She looked pretty proud of herself.

I was so angry, I just got up and went inside. Thank goodness my dad sympathized with me, though. Instead of arguing again, we had a talk about what my future's gonna be like...and that kind of stuff.

Later, I found out that the only reason my 'friend' wanted me to come see me, was so she could get a ride to the mall or wherever so she could meet some guys from her school. All she ever did was use me and my mom for a ride. Pathetic!
   
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Re: My 'friend' is so mean. - June 14th 2009, 03:12 AM

Hi Nikki,

I'm sorry everything turned out so rotten for you today. Maybe your dad was just in a bad mood or had a lot on his plate. Try asking him if he'll bring you over to your grandma's another time. I'm glad things turned out well between you two in the end, though, and that the fight didn't continue.

Your 'friend' on the other hand, was just plain rude. I think you should rethink this friendship completely, and find someone who cares about you and supports you instead. This other girl does sound like she was just using you for a ride and was just showing off. A friend is supposed to be there for you, especially when things are going wrong. It wasn't right that she said what she did and wanted to use you for a ride.

I think you did the right thing by sticking up for your decision to not go to that party. Bad-talking your dad probably wasn't the best way to go about it, but I am proud of you for realizing that this is not someone you want to hang around with.

Look for a new friend and do your best to keep up good relationships with your family. You've got people that care about you- you don't need to hang around the people that are rude.

Take care and stay strong.

Nat.


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Re: My 'friend' is so mean. - June 14th 2009, 03:15 AM

If she acts that way then she's not your fried. Next time try and stand up for yourself and tell her you don't want to "hang out" with her when she acts this way. I'm sorry about what she did to your dad, it's nice he sympathised and talked to you. Sometimes parents don't feel like doing anything just like us which is why he might have said no about taking you to your grandmas, maybe try asking in a couple of days.

But about your friend. Really, I think you need to talk to her. If she doesn't want to change then let her go. Because you deserve to be treated with more respect and consideration than that! I hope everything works out!


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Re: My 'friend' is so mean. - June 14th 2009, 03:27 AM

Fast replies!
Thanks for the support! My dad has a broken leg, which might be why he's been in a bad mood lately. But he's fine now, and he tries to find stuff for me to do outside when I'm alone and bored in the house. He let my ex-friend in because he didn't want to be rude.

I wanted to maybe talk to her in private one day (not today), because I wanted to 'talk' and maybe bring our friendship together one last time, because we were slipping apart. But then she brought over her bf and things got out of hand. I was so overwhelmed and angry that she brought him over today, even when I asked her to come over alone some other day.

Today was just not a good day, but at least it ended well. But if I hadn't made that excuse about me being punished, she probably would've forced me to go to that party. And whenever I go to the mall with her, she puts me down to look cool in front of guys. That's just so shallow. She's never been there for me, you know? I've never been able to cry on her shoulder or anything.

Thanks for listening.
   
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