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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
I'm A Pyschotic Neurotic.
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Name: Jaymi
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Please Please, My Best Mate Is Ill.... - June 30th 2009, 04:08 PM

Me & my best mate met in hospital. She then moved up to wales & I moved down to london. Im out of hospital. She is still in hospital. She was doing so well, had all this unescorted leave, reduced meds & sounding really good.

Well today, I rang her & she'd had a relapse, she is completely drugged up, slurring, she got no leave & is on obs.

I hate that. It makes me feel shit. I want to be ill. It kind of triggers a relapse for me. Theres nothing I can do, I want her to get better. When she is down, I am down.

I wish I was with here, I miss her, and I just need advice on how to cope with a very ill best friend.

Its getting to the point where I am feeling suicidal. I cant cope with myself, let alone a sick friend.


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Last edited by i_am_me_again; June 30th 2009 at 04:18 PM.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Please Please, My Best Mate Is Ill.... - June 30th 2009, 05:23 PM

I'm sorry to hear that your best friend is ill and that you can't get there to see her but you can still be there for her via phone calls or even text messages & IMs. As long as she knows that you're there for her then I'm sure it'll help her a lot and it's the best you can do for her.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Please Please, My Best Mate Is Ill.... - June 30th 2009, 05:25 PM

Problem is, she in a medium secure unit, so she hasnt got internet, or text messages, etc. Im trying to help others, but inside Im scared.


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Re: Please Please, My Best Mate Is Ill.... - June 30th 2009, 06:10 PM

hey,

it's okay to be scared but i'm sure your best friend would want you to remain strong. just be comforted in knowing that she is at the hospital and getting better. i know, that it could trigger a relapse for you but try not to let it, i'm sure that would make her horrible. is there anyway you can go to the hospital and see her?

hang in there, i know it's tough but it'll be okay!
pm me if you want to talk.


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Re: Please Please, My Best Mate Is Ill.... - June 30th 2009, 07:02 PM

Hi Jaymi,

No matter what, your friend would not want you to feel sick, especially when she is so ill. I understand that you care deeply about your friend, but taking it out on yourself would not benefit either of you. Stay strong, take care of yourself, and stay in touch with your friend- those are the best things you can do.

Since your friend is in such a secure unit, would you be able to write her letters by hand instead of by texting or through internet? Writing letters is a very meaningful way of communicating, and that way you would be able to let her know how much you care about her and how she is doing. You could send her pictures and poems that might make her feel better.

Sometimes people relapse, but that doesn't change who your friend is or how she feels about you. Take care of yourself and keep reminding yourself how important it is to be strong right now. I have every confidence that you can pull through this.

If you ever need to talk, please PM me. My inbox is always open.

Nat.


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Re: Please Please, My Best Mate Is Ill.... - July 1st 2009, 12:38 AM

i know its different illnesses and all.. but when i first got diagnosed my best friend found it really hard to cope. i think the best thing to do is to try and stay calm about it. think of if this way.. at least she's in the best hands where she is and keep a positive mind set. your friend needs you to be strong for her, as well as yourself.. but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to be upset about it. sometimes it helps if you find out more info about whats going on, especially if you're so far away. i hope your friend gets better soon. :]


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