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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Family argues all the time - July 6th 2009, 08:22 PM

They never stop. I always stay away from them I go to friends houses go to church or lock myself in my room. But they wanted to go on vacation and it was horrible I was going to go off the deep end if I didnt get home. My birthday was absoultly horrible I was hoping that for one day we could just get along. But no thats just to much to ask for i guess for. We were at uneversial on the 4th and I wanted something to drink that wasent sprite or coke and my dad yelled at me in front of millons of people that I had mental issues because I didnt want that. So I just walked off crying.

When we fight we fight for hours. My dad and brother think they always have to be right so that leads to lots of arugements. We all basically have anger problems so that leads to some more. Me and my brother just hate each other and I cant stand beign with him for more then 5 mins.

When we were driving home my parents got into a huge fight over nothing and it lasted for 2 hours. Stuck in a freaking car listening to them yell and scream at each other. So I turn on my ipod and start blaring screamo to tune them out and get yelled at for doing that.

I dont think Ive ever been so stressed in my life. Im about to snap. And Ive tried talking to them about it they dont care. My dad says that I can just get over it.


   
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Re: Family argues all the time - July 7th 2009, 04:44 PM

Hi Kendi,

That kind of environment with everyone arguing really must be taking a toll on everybody. I can understand how stressful it is to be stuck and have to listen to all of the arguments. Do you think the other members of your family feel the same way about it? I find that sometimes arguments can be a vicious cycle- people are stressed out and argue to relieve the stress, but become more stressed by the argument.

I think you are doing the right thing by getting out of the situation when you can. Going to calm places and doing calm activities really helps relieve stress. Still, it would help to solve the situation completely. Everyone has arguments sometimes, but it sounds like it is getting to the point where everyone in your family can't stand to be together.

Is family counseling a possibility for your family? That would give everyone an opportunity to speak and find out how everyone feels about this situation. I think you might be surprised that others in your family probably feel the same as you do about it.

Also, talking to separate members of your family when they are calm might be a good idea. Just let them know that you think that the arguments are really tearing all of you apart and you would like it if you could all put the effort in to avoid arguing as much as possible. Just let them know that you don't like arguing with them, and that you would really like everyone to just try being a bit more positive and try compromising a bit.

You could also try talking about something else when an argument starts. Try to divert your family's attention to something else or another topic. This may not work all the time, but it may be worth a try.

I know this is difficult right now, but still try to get away from the arguments and calm yourself down. Being stressed about it will not solve the problem. Try talking to them again and see if they are willing to compromise with you.

Stay strong. If you ever need to talk, please PM me any time.

Nat.


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Re: Family argues all the time - July 7th 2009, 04:52 PM

Family consuling wow no way. Nobody in my family can stand consulers they think we should be able to work things out with out other people not knowing about it.

Ive tried changing the subject it just dosent work. I'll be over the fight and like staring out the window and 5 minutes later my dad will bring it back up again so the fight just continues.

I just have a feeling once me and my brother leave the house thats the last time the family will talk to each other.


   
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