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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ryce Offline
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Exclamation He's Leaving; Should I? - July 22nd 2009, 09:22 AM

Just recently one of my closest guy friends who I basically think of like a brother told me he is packing up all of his clothes and anything he needs and leaving. He doesn't know where he is going to go yet, just as far away from his family as possible. He said that he wasn't even planning on telling anyone at all that he was leaving but decided to tell me because he thought he should ask me to go with him...

That kind of stumped me. I really don't know if I should go or not..
He's mainly asking me because he knows how fed up I am with my family.

My parents and I have never gotten along, I'm not even too sure as to why, but we just don't. I honestly can't remember a time where we weren't in some sort of arguement with each other that doesn't turn into some kind of screaming match. They make me feel miserable, like they really don't want me around at all. My mom once told me she just doesn't feel like being a parent anymore- it's just too much effort and she rather have fun. I don't know if that was meant to hurt me or not, but she makes slips like that a lot, then doesn't understand when I get mad at her. My dad and I don't even talk at all. He just goes to work, comes home, goes out with my mom, then comes home and goes to sleep. If I talk to him he basically ignores me. It always made me feel very isolated from the rest of the family because they dont treat my siblings like this at all. Maybe it's because I'm the only one who will actually say what's on my mind instead of agreeing with everything they say? I really dont know.

That's why my friend wants me to go with him. He doesn't think I should put up with it anymore, and I kind of agree.

He's leaving in a week to give me time to make a descion. I think it's something I should really think about before just up and leaving, but I dont know what to do.

Every part of me wants to go, but I dont know if it's the right thing to do or not, Any Suggestions? =/


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Re: He's Leaving; Should I? - July 22nd 2009, 11:23 AM

I think it's fine if you are sure you can look after yourself. Do you have a job? How much will this place cost you to live in? because if you're still at school, you have limited hours that you can work.
   
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Re: He's Leaving; Should I? - July 22nd 2009, 11:54 AM

Hello Alexandra, the decision is really up to you but what you have to keep in mind is if you will be going with your friend you have to think about it in long term prospects. You say he doesnt even know where he is going which sounds like he hasnt really thought about this enough. Do you really want to just go and then find out you have no where to live, no food to eat, nothing you can do.
If you two are serious about this then think about all these things, make sure you do not just look at this situation as an escape from your families, that is just a short term solution to a problem.
Do not try escaping one problem to find that you have placed yourself into alot of other problems. Think about it seriously before you take a decision.

Hope this helps you. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk about it.


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Re: He's Leaving; Should I? - July 22nd 2009, 03:23 PM

The decision is up to you, if you can look after yourself and get a stable job then I'm sure you'd be fine.


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Re: He's Leaving; Should I? - July 22nd 2009, 05:36 PM

I guess you're old enough to look after yourself and leave home ... but it is really worth it if neither of you know where you are going or what you are going to do?

It's never worth running away from one problem, especially if you are going to be faced with a whole host of other problems? Do you know where you could start finding a job? Have you and your friend got enough money to support yourselves for how ever long it's going to be? What about a roof over your heads?

Home life doesn't sound very fun for you - but (in my experience anyway) once a child hits that age (15-17ish) things do seem horrible and home life isn't the best.

Personally, I don't think you should go ... have you tried talking to your parents (easy to say - and honestly doesn't always work) about home? Not while you are in an arguement or anything, try some time when you are all calm.

Leaving home is expensive and very difficult ...

Sorry to do the negatives ... take care of yourself whatever you dicide
Vicx x


So much for that idea ...

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Re: He's Leaving; Should I? - July 23rd 2009, 06:14 AM

Thanks for the thoughts all (even pointing out negatives is helpful, rather think about that so I dont make the wrong choice..)

I talked to my friend today again and we got more of a plan worked out now. We both have good jobs, and talked about where we would go if I went with. We have a general idea of a place in mind so I think I might go with him after all.

I'll probably wait till the end of the week before giving him an answer though, just incase I change my mind =/

Thanks again though, I didn't really keep in mind things like school (since I'm currently out of school it didn't cross my mind he would want to go to college somewhere..) Gave me a few things to think about.


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Re: He's Leaving; Should I? - July 23rd 2009, 07:16 AM

Have you also considered what your parents would do. They sound kind of like mine, uncaring. But would they search for you? If they do, then what?
   
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Re: He's Leaving; Should I? - July 24th 2009, 05:44 AM

When i read the title of the thread i was immediately thinking i should say "stay in school." but your situation is really unique. To tell you the truth, if i were you, i would go with him. It sounds like if you were to stay in this situation without your friend, you might just fall apart. The way i see it, your friend sounds like the only real solid piece of your life.

But, like everyone else is saying, its up to you. Your the only one who can understand the situation fully.
   
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