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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Not a n00b
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Name: Courtney
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How do you make friends?? - July 22nd 2009, 11:20 PM

Alright I am 16 and I am going to be a senior in high school. I have trouble making friends though. I am shy but I am way better then I used to be. I find it hard though beacuse if I go up to somebody and try to start a conversation I will be like hey how was your weekend, they say good, and they turn and walk away. Nobody ever comes up to me and tries to start a conversation. And then if I do start a convo, with someone they start talking about movies or tv shows ive never seen, or about there jobs (I don't have a job so...) I especially find it hard to make firends with people who I don't have any classes with, I mean what am I suppost to do go up to them and jsust start talking o them at lunch, wouldn't that be awkard?? So any advice thanks!!
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
emerson Offline
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Re: How do you make friends?? - July 23rd 2009, 02:20 AM

The advice I can give is: try joining a club or organization made up of people with your interests! If you're into a particular art, or writing, or a sport, or music, etc, there's probably a club at your school devoted to that topic. That way you automatically have something in common with the other people.
If you don't have any particular interests, or your school/ area doesn't provide interesting clubs, you could volunteer somewhere. That's another great way to meet people with whom you will automatically have conversational topics to discuss.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: How do you make friends?? - July 23rd 2009, 02:48 AM

Hey Courtney,

So far, to me, it sounds like you got the right idea. I know you're shy and I can completely understand why this might be a difficult thing to do. A big thing you should try to do is act confident. Sometimes, it makes you seem approachable. Certainly continue to be friendly and smile. It doesn't matter where you start conversation, so long as you give your best shot. Though, I can understand where you're coming from with the lunch time confrontation. So, try to avoid confronting new people at lunch. If you see people you have a class with or know a little more than others, try sitting with them first. Simply approach and smile and ask to sit with them. Remember to engage yourself and give what you can to conversations. The worst thing I do sometimes is over think things. Just act natural and be yourself because people can tell when you're not being honest with them. Remember that you DO have important things to contribute and remember to make that known when they're talking. Don't cut people off, but speak up. :]

If you're having trouble thinking of what to say in general, plan it before you go to confront someone. Think of questions and responses in your mind and then that can help you feel more prepared for a conversation. When all else fails, remember to ask about them. It's simple, people enjoy talking about themselves and you tend to get a better reaction from people when you show that you're generally interested in more than just a chat. It shows you're trying to be friends and hopefully they'll respond with questions about yourself. Remember also that there are 2 people to the conversation, sometimes more. Everyone needs to contribute and if the conversation dies - that's okay and it's not your fault. They need to help things run too.

Either way, the easiest place to confront people is in class. You don't need to go far and there are about a hundred more things to talk about when you know you're interested in the same things. Start with a question about the work or something along those lines and try to carry out the conversation from there. If things don't go the way you want them to, don't sweat it. There are so many other people who will enjoy your time and don't let a few people you don't click with discourage you. Keep your chin up and don't doubt yourself and what you have to offer. You are unique and you can make interesting conversations. :] If you need anything at all, feel free to PM me. Don't be shy. Good luck with this and I really hope this helped. Just keep trying and I'm sure you'll get somewhere! You can do this and it takes practice.

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
BrittneyNicole Offline
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Re: How do you make friends?? - July 23rd 2009, 03:38 AM

My best friends, were made though work and/or the Fire/EMS service. You're more likely to make friends with people who have stuff in common with you so join some clubs or organizations or sports. You can try making friends with people in classes that interest you, too. :]

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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Pelios Offline
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Outside, huh?
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Re: How do you make friends?? - July 23rd 2009, 04:16 AM

I literally just start talking to people...
For example, if I am in the classroom and just to spark up the conversation I just say a random fact, and it starts from there.
Or ask what the homework was and there.

Everyone is born right-handed. Only the greatest overcome it.
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