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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ILoveDimaBilan Offline
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Unhappy Akito and Yuki - July 29th 2009, 04:10 PM

The other weekend me and mum got into an argument after I was admittedly being rude, and she immedetly grounds me and then 5 minutes later (claims that she was joking) and then I got angry and I said only a shred of how I felt towards how she treats me and my brother. She treats me and my brother with double standards.

She still doesn't understand and then she got angry at me for crying? That doesn't make sence??? I always tried my best at school, 8/10 did everything she has ever asked from me and she still doesn't get it!

I am so close to just walking out of my house, I being honest here...I never liked going home because of it sometimes I always loved to live at school. I hated going home.

I need the space to grow I'm not going to be her puppet for ever she is like Akito shoma and I am Yuki shoma, mother being Akito always pushing me lowering my self-esstem and me Yuki being scared by it I don't want that to happen. To me...
(see the series fruit baskets)

I just want to be free from what it seems to be her curse...


Giant owl goes...
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
- Paul Meton
- HIGNFY


Go against the rules walk on your own not behind someone else!
- Dima Bilan

The Glass of life is never half empty it is always half full
- ME

Last edited by ILoveDimaBilan; July 29th 2009 at 09:14 PM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Strider Offline
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Re: Akito and Yuki - July 31st 2009, 07:03 PM

Hi Nina,

Have you tried talking to your mom about this? If you can, try when you are both not angry or arguing and let her know how you feel and ask her why she is treating you this way. I think that it is important that she knows how you feel about how she is acting towards you and what you have done for her.

Giving specific examples is the best way to do it. Try saying: "I feel like *this* when you say/do *this*" and see what she says. It's important that the conversation goes both ways, so do your best to listen to her side of it too. I know this is hard, especially when you have different opinions, but just try.

If you like spending time away from home, try visiting and hanging out with friends, going for walks, or joining an activity in your area. There are ways to get out and about and not spend so much time around your mom. It might do you both some good to have some space between you two.

Don't let your mom push down your self esteem. You are a great person, and you are allowed to make your own decisions. Sure, your mom may not agree with you, but do what makes you happy and healthy- that's what matters.

Take care and stay strong.

Nat.

PS: That is a good connection with Fruit Basket. I hadn't heard of that anime/manga before. I'll check it out


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Re: Akito and Yuki - August 13th 2009, 09:31 AM

Thank you I was speaking to one of my friends about this she said I should do the same thing x
But I'm still afraid of her, its like she's scaring me sometimes its difficult if I stand up she'd try escape goating and its annoying and then she'd play the "I do everything for you" card etc
She guilts me back in and she is very manipulative and its hard to break out of which is why I try to avoid her as much as possible even if it is small things like take the plates on the table I grab them and speed walk to the table and slowly return back...To the Kitchen.


Giant owl goes...
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
- Paul Meton
- HIGNFY


Go against the rules walk on your own not behind someone else!
- Dima Bilan

The Glass of life is never half empty it is always half full
- ME

Last edited by ILoveDimaBilan; August 13th 2009 at 09:32 AM. Reason: Spelling mistakes
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
roomofangels Offline
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Re: Akito and Yuki - August 18th 2009, 06:03 AM

Well, if your mom really is anything like Akito I'm sorry to tell you but that curse on you isn't going to leave until she's dead... so I guess you'll have to kill her! Just kidding!

My mom had the same problem with her mom and brother, and its hard to deal with even at this part in life. All I can really suggest is becoming as independant as possible so you can take care of yourself sooner before she gets a death grip on you. Get a job and possibly apply for a driveres liscence if you haven't done those already. I know that seems like an odd solution but despite it being indirect, at least it will be a good long term decision.

For example of a worst case scenerio: What if one day you and your mother had a huge fight over how she threats you? At least if you had a job and had saved up some money and were driving you could leave and attempt to find a new home. Perhaps even move out with a friend.

When and overbearing parent feels they can control you entirely they feel that no mercy needs to be shown, but if you show her that you could leave and have a good life without her, she is more likely to listen to what you have to say.

I am hoping this was useful enough for you.
   
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