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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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John Doe Offline
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Freinds or Masters? - August 13th 2009, 01:22 AM

Ok, I realy don't know if this is just a rant or me asking for help. I'v been running with these two freinds of mine for over a year now and realy we grew to be like brothers. But ever since we first started hanging out, they treat me like, well, their bitch. They always have a problem with the way I dress, talk, my opinions and outlooks, the way I wanna do things and just the things that I wanna do, while when they do something ignorant or unreasonable, I can't say anything against them because they're always right. God, one of them even gets pissed off at times and freakin hits me. I mean I know that everyone has quirks that you have to put up with but this rediculous. The only reason this is bugging me is because I just stopped talking and hanging out with them. They were always there for me, I had some pretty messed up family issues a few months back and they were there, but it just kinda seems like the cons outweigh the pros. I tried to hang with them again, but throughout the entire day, it was just hell. I'm not overexagerating on their behavior either, hell, one of em went so far as to tell me what to do and how to do it when I was going out with someone, and I don't mean advice, I mean that he might as well have been going out with her. When I broke up with her for telling me that I'm an idiot for going into the Marines and how I'm gonna go get myself killed, both of em thought that I screwed up. We'd been going out for only a month! Schools here in a week and I'm gonna have no one to talk to but I think it's for the best. The thing that bugs me is I feel like I'm the bad guy. I'v kinda always done that, but this is driving me realy crazy.
   
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Re: Freinds or Masters? - August 13th 2009, 01:55 AM

Unfortunatly my boyfriend has this same situation. His so-called "friends" that he's been hanging out with for years treat him quite terribly. They make him drive them everywhere and make him pay for food and get angry at him when he objects to anything he says.
I've asked him why he puts up with it and his answer is a lot like yours was, which is that they've been there for him for a long time, and sometimes they can be great guys.
The most important thing is that you don't let yourself feel guilty because they're acting like bad friends. You have done nothing to deserve how they've treated you like a servant. It's good that you've decided that it's for the best that you're no longer involved with them. I wish my boyfriend could see things the way you do ^^


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Re: Freinds or Masters? - August 13th 2009, 05:18 AM

Hey there,

It sucks that your friends are treating you this way; sometimes friends really can be annoying.

I think the best thing you can do is talk to them and tell them how you feel; maybe they don't realize how they are treating you? Sometimes people think they are 'helping' people out but in the end they are only hurting that person; maybe it is the same with your friends? Talk to them and go from there.

If you talk to them and they continue to do it maybe you should take a step back from the friendship and give you and your friends some time to cool off. I know that this may suck but sometimes when you take a break from certain situations it gives you a whole new perspective on the situation and sometimes you are able to come back and deal with the people in a better way.

I hope this helped and if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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John Doe Offline
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Re: Freinds or Masters? - August 14th 2009, 07:51 PM

Thanks you guys, I realy appreciate the help and your advice. If they wanna talk, I'll listen, I won't avoid them, but I think that I'm done hanging with them. Thanks again for your help!


Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right. ~H.H. "Breaker" Morant

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. ~James Dean

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. ~Braveheart

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may;
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
~Robert Herrick
   
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Re: Freinds or Masters? - August 16th 2009, 03:26 PM

I think I can somewhat relate to your situation. I've posted my own thread. Since you've stopped hanging out you may just have the upperhand. If they do talk to you and want to be your friend again you should let them know that you don't mind being friends but as soon as they start trying to call the shots you're not going to stand for it. You have a right to your own views and opinions and if they disagree tell them real friends aren't like that. I hope everythingworks out. Good luck at school, and try reaching out to new people.
   
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Re: Freinds or Masters? - August 19th 2009, 01:43 AM

I think its safe to say that their no longer my freinds. I was talking to one of my freinds, not the Masters, but a guy that acts a bit like me, hes quiet and a deep thinker, and they do the same thing to him as they did to me, except he has more patience. He told me that they were talkin about me, askin him why he even hangs out with me, and then they started talkin about how now im probably into drugs! I'v had a freind since Freshman year that, this year, started doing drugs. I talk to her when she calls me because I think it would be wrong to turn away from her, as long as she doesn't come near me or anyone I care about with that crap its her choice. I realy liked her for three years, untill she started doing that shit after one of her freinds died from it this year, and they think that I started hanging out with her. It was like they were trying to fabricate some elaborate fantasy that made me out to be a monster. I havn't bothered them since and they have to do that crap?


Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right. ~H.H. "Breaker" Morant

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. ~James Dean

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. ~Braveheart

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may;
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
~Robert Herrick
   
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