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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
MandaPanda Offline
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I really do NOT know what to do at this point.. - August 15th 2009, 03:31 PM

This post might be really long, sorry if it is, but i really need help.

so I havent posted in awhile, mostly because I thought things were going really well for me.. but, of course, something had to happen, right?
so anyways, as i may or may not have said before, i started to hang out with a new group of friends. I thought everything was perfectly fine, until one of my friends and I got into some serious trouble, I'm not going to go into it, but we were both grounded for awhile. Anyways, I don't know what she told everyone else, but I think she found a way to blame me for the whole thing that happened because they're having a "Ungrounding party" thing for her and i wasn't invited... and I fully know about it, too, and they KNOW that i know about it and haven't said so much as "we know we didnt invite you, and we know you were grounded too, but this is alyshas thing for now" I would have understood if they didnt want me there cause it was ALYSHAS party.. and we were both grounded and stuff, but they didnt say a word to me about it. and all alysha said about it was "they decided to throw me and ungrounding party haha i love them"

So yea I dont know if she told them anything.. but ever since the whole "thing" happened I've been feeling quite depressed (this has been going on for about 2 weeks now) and i feel like i have no friends now. I kinda talk to alysha still.. but i can tell that there might be some underlying tension there. I know that she might not be the best influence on me, but i still find myself wanting to be her friend, even though i know she might not be the best person in the world.

and what makes this even better? my exbestfriend, who i now know actually might be mentally sick (consitering some of the stuff shes said/does) was there when we got in trouble. so God knows that shes been enjoying the fuck out of this. and alysha and her have been getting REALLY close.. but idk.. i also know that my exbestfriend is going to be moving schools... but i dont know when and i dont know if that will solve the problem i have. cause honestly i always find myself in the same position with my friends. I so desperatly want to move away and start fresh but i know thats just running away from the problem.. cause if i did move away, all of this might still happen, you know? I was talking to alysha today and isaid "we def need to chill since were not grounded anymore" and she said "well this week is kristens birthday week so partying and what not" ...for one thing a birthday isnt a WHOLE week, and i obviously wasnt invited to kristens birthday either. ugh

so yea, i really just need to know how to cope with this.. because i really feel like i have no friends, even though i do, i have friends outside of this group that i hang out with.. but i just feel really alone.. and im kind of afraid to go to go back to school to see how this all plays out..
as hard as ive been trying, i always find myself being depressed for a couple of days, then ill have a good day, then, for NO reason, ill be depressed and miserable again.. I need help with this really badly.
   
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Re: I really do NOT know what to do at this point.. - August 15th 2009, 05:33 PM

Hey, I know what your going through. I can't say I have the best advice for you, but I can hopefully give you hope...
Well, here's my little story of friends being stupid like this: 8th grade my friends decided I wasn't cool and trendy enough for them, so they convinced the rest of the school that wasn't cool and that I was annoying. I basically entered high school alone and went through quite a few deaths in 8th grade alone as well. So I know what it's like to feel like your friends are... leaving you for other friends. And what it's like to for some reason want to be friends with someone that you know isn't a good influence on you.
All I can say is how my little story ended. 9th grade came around, I made new friends that I knew were bad influences and treated me like shit, most didn't like me and didn't want me around, but then a few months later I made new friends. And if I hadn't moved we'd all still be friends today. Even though I moved, I'm still close to a few, one of them is my boyfriend.

So... What I mean to say is that no matter how much your friends treat you like crap, and how much it feels like you have no friends for the longest time ever... It IS possible to make new, better friends. It's rare for people to stay friends with the same people they hung out with from elementary school to high school anyway. This is... in a way normal. It's sad and pathetic that our world is so messed up like this, but it is I believe.
If I were you, when it omes to these friends, I would try to make new ones next year. I'm not saying don't hang out with these people, you can still be friends with them fine. And who knows, they might ask you to come to these things again this year. But you'd feel less alone if you had other friends to hang out with when/if they don't. If your school is kinda small or you feel like you know everyone already and cant make new friends, well, don't feel that way. I was the same. I figured "I know everyone, everyone sucks and I hate them all and they hate me" but you don't know that. I went from your typical punk friends to preppy ones to psychotic friends. You can be friends with all sorts of people, no matter what you think you already know about them.

As for the depression, I know what thats like also. All I can say for that is... bear it out. It gets better. And the thing that really helps the most; is there ANYONE you can talk to about it? Sometimes just knowing someone you can talk to is the biggest help. Parents, a teacher, counselor, a friend... You can always come here.
When your depressed, the best thing that works is distractions. distraction is key. Find a few ways to get your mind off it. Learn an instrament, play a game, go for a walk, watch a hilarious movie, write it out, anything. It's the easiest way to get through something. You can ALWAYS come here.



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Re: I really do NOT know what to do at this point.. - August 16th 2009, 12:30 AM

That sounds rough. EVERYone has fights with thier friends sometimes and I mean everyone. I've lost best friends to other friends and believe me it does get easier. Just try to surrond your self with people who want to spend time with you. It seems that these girls are just looking for something to blame


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Re: I really do NOT know what to do at this point.. - August 16th 2009, 03:37 PM

thanks for the advice guys i do feel a lot better.. and ive realized, FINALLYYYY, after weeks of feeling upset and depressed, that im better than what i am and how ive been acting. im slowing going to repair the friendships that ive lost that i DO cherish. although im afraid that im going to fall back into that depression, im living in the moment :] so thanks, again!


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