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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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blueyes90 Offline
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Name: DK
Age: 29
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Angry I just don't know.... - January 20th 2009, 06:13 PM

I had a bad day and I feel that a little rant/self-pity party/whatever is in order.

Out of the three kids in my family, I'm the youngest with two older brothers. One is 32, and one is 20. My oldest brother, D, and I have never really been close, mainly because of the large age difference.

In september of 2008, my oldest brother & his wife decided to randomly quit their jobs, take their two young kids (one was almost 5, one was not even 1 year), and move to Florida. From the get-go, pretty much everyone in our family thought it was a bad idea, but it wasn't our place to say anything. We all encouraged my brother and helped them get ready to leave. Within less than a week of them being in Florida, things went bad and my brother quit his job. They didn't have much money and by the middle of december, they had decided to move back home. Fine, great, please move back home. They had to ask all family members to 'loan' them money so they could get home. My parents gave 500 dollars, and said they'd try to give them 500 on their next pay day. This was when my mom still had a job as well, so the 500 wasn't so much of a big deal. Within the same week that they got back, my mom lost her job, leaving our family on one paycheck. As alot of you know, living on one paycheck is nearly impossible. My brother still had it in his head somehow, that we were still going to be able to give him another 500 dollars. They're on food stamps/assistance, so it's not like they're going to go hungry. They sent my mom an email that was not so nice, basically telling us that we needed to give them another 500 dollars. My mom said that we just couldn't afford to, but we could get them another 100. Within a few emails, my brother got very hostile, and somehow, dragged my other brother and I into it, basically calling us bums that were completely useless. He talked to my mom in a way that no one should ever be talked to by anyone, let along their kids. My mom and I are furious over this, and we think we have every right to be. However, when my dad went to their house to talk to them and give them 100 dollars, they talked and when dad came home, he blamed my mom and I for the entire mess, saying that we were, and I quote "adding fuel to the fire and stirring the pot".

Do I have a right to be really upset, or am I overreacting?
   
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Strider Offline
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Re: I just don't know.... - January 20th 2009, 06:20 PM

Hi there DK,

From what you are saying, I do think you have a right to be upset. It sounds like you and your mom are being falsely accused. I can imagine how difficult it is for your family to have to provide for the family at home and still have your brother demanding money. What he needs to do is get his own job and figure out his financial problems himself. It's not fair to drop his family on yours now that he is old enough and has his own family to care for. I think you should suggest to your mom to tell him this. He is old enough to look after himself and should work towards finding a new job.

I know this is frustrating, but hold in there. I'm sure it will pass.
Nat.
   
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newbie552 Offline
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Re: I just don't know.... - January 20th 2009, 10:38 PM

you're totally right to be upset, if you're brother got himself into this then he should be the one getting himself out instead of relying on his family to bail him out
   
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