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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Stay determined
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Name: Cara
Age: 26
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Location: Scotland

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My Parent's Divorce - August 26th 2009, 02:49 PM

Well I'll just give you some background info as I don't think I've talked about this on here before.

My mum and dad have been separated for nearly 2 years now and my mum's pushing for a divorce. The break up didn't really end very well, since they got in an argument and the day after my mum told my dad she was leaving him. My mum told some of their mutual friends my dad had been saying things about them and they all got mad at my dad but then my dad told them he hadn't said anything like that so they got mad at my mum which was making the situation worse. None of these friends are really involved in it anymore so that's good.

My dad originally was going to move out of the house and live with my nan but then he had a feeling she was trying to get with someone else so he decided to stay in the house because he didn't want my mum moving someone in there. My dad let my mum sleep in the double bed while he moved into the spare room but my mum worked in the day and my dad worked nights so when my mum was getting ready in the mornings my dad got annoyed and it started an argument leading to my dad moving back into the double bed and my mum in the spare room. Anyway about a month or so after my mum was seeing someone else and she didn't really spend much time in the house. She only really came back to sleep and get changed. Since my dad worked nights I spent a lot of time on my own and about 2 months after my parents split I ended it with my boyfriend which obviously upset me a lot because I'd been with him so long.

My mum moved out and is living with her boyfriend now. I live there too kind of but also spend a few days a week at my dad's. Well my mum doesn't have a lot of money so she wants my dad to buy her out of the house or put it on the market. My dad says he can't afford to buy her out at the moment as he's not getting much overtime at work and most of his money goes on paying the bills. I don't want the house to go on the market and be sold and my dad suggested to my mum that she waited until I was 18 and would be going to university. A letter came from my mum's solicitor today and my dad let me read what it said. It says that because I'm residing with my mum it's unreasonable for my dad to say that he wants to keep the house until I'm 18.

I don't think it's unreasonable because I grew up in this house and like how close it is to my mum's because it means I can go down there anytime I want to and don't have to rely on buses or anyone driving me there. My dad said I can write a letter to my mum's solicitor explaining my feelings and how I live jointly with my mum and my dad. I do live with them both and when my dad explained to me that I might have to decide who to live with if it went to court I said I want to live half and half. Does anyone have any ideas about how to write this letter because I'm not really good at writing letters? Also, I've spoken to my mum about this and about how I don't want my dad's house to be sold but she just says she has to do what the solicitor advises her because if she doesn't she won't get legal aid (means she doesn't have to pay for the solicitor because she doesn't have the money atm) My mum doesn't seem to be taking my feelings into consideration and cares about getting one over on my dad.

Thanks you so much for reading all of this and thanks even more if you reply with ideas or if you don't have any support would be nice aswell.
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Darrenboy! Offline
my long tongue is long.
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Re: My Parent's Divorce - August 26th 2009, 03:54 PM

cara,i understand that you're going through a lot.

however, just remember that your mom's just going through a lot, so much so that it makes her too busy or too occupied (her hostile feelings are already quite a lot for her to deal with. And in this case it does feel like your mom is just wanting to win dad in getting over the possesion (house) . i know its tough.. but just remember

we're all here to support and listen to you no matter what happens . i know this is a lot to deal with. but the thing is that you have to stay strong.. i know its hard but remember you've got all of us with you

regarding the letter, maybe you should try telling your mom's solicitor regarding the house.. and its a formal letter ( but i bet you already knew that) . but in it, just put in your feelings.. and write it in a way that reflects what your heart feels as honestly as possible.. because you have the right to express, and in this kind of situation, you have EVERY right to express yourself and make those two people dear to you understand about how you feel about the whole situation.

i know my advice might seem absurd.. but i hope it will work. Anything depicting a child's honest feelings about an issue dear to her heart.. is going to get the message through.

Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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cherryqueen1248 Offline
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Name: Care
Gender: Female

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Re: My Parent's Divorce - August 27th 2009, 02:43 PM

hi sweetie-- things will work out. everything happens for a reason, and everything is okay in the end, if its not okay its not the end. keep your chin held high and support your parents through whatever they need to without picking sides. if you need to talk, message me! good luck =]
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