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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Lime Offline
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Arrow Hardcore family issues. - September 17th 2009, 10:54 PM

Things have taken a turn for the worst in my 'home'. I'm very uncertain what to do at this point.

My parents are divorced. They have been for a long time and that never really bugged me. I have lived with my mother the entire duration of the time. Throughout the years there were several problems; my dad had to go to rehab for alcohol when I was very little, which triggered lots of verbal abuse towards me when I little. Up until recently, my dad was living alone, and he'd spew all of his rants and opinions onto me. He'd also take out the anger. Thankfully, never physically, but in any case, the abuse of being told I am 'not normal' for no reason really caused a lot of anxiety. I was put into counseling at an early age because they thought I had a separation issue from my mother when really it was me not wanting to go and be told off by him every weekend.

Up until now, I use to think it was my dad who was worse, but now I am pretty sure I think living with my mom is the real stick-in-the you know what. My mom and I have been living off of this guy for the past 13 years of my life. She never explained to me when I was younger that they were dating. My mom also had some very bad alcohol problems, and would verbally abuse me. When I was about 13, my mom and the guy broke up, but we still live with him. My mom is not working now, and neither is he.

Here is where the situation comes in.
In earlier August, my mom's ex-boyfriend threatened to kick us out with no mercy. I had no idea about it, but my mom told me. I have very bad anxiety, so I had been worrying about this for a long time. My mom has no job and neither do I.. where would we live? Where would she go? I was so frightened... I wasn't safe in my own home. My mom kept telling me it'd be okay and that the government would give us a house, but I didn't buy it.

One night, I hadn't been feeling well when I went out with some friends and I called her to see if she could come pick me. She said no, because she'd taken a pain pill (my mom is on "medical leave" because of her knee and has been rehabbing for a few months). I told her I would take a bus, and she told me no. I was a bit angry, so I hung up. Her ex comes to pick me up, and he's half-hammered. I drove home, and went to my room as soon as I got in the house. Later, I went downstairs to my basement to go to bed, to see that my mom and my mom's ex were sleeping together. I went upstairs in a bit of a panic, wondering what happened. I was up until 3, talking on the phone, and as soon as my mom gets upstairs, she slams my door without saying a word.

The next morning..
Everything was just fine. We no longer were going to get kicked out.
I've never been more pissed about something in my life.

I never get angry. Ever. And for this to happen, for my to spend weeks worrying about something, worrying about my mom's life and my own possibly being in danger... and then sleeping together makes everything better? What am I, five? I know morals, and a have a sense of dignity. That's not how things should be handled, in my book.

Acting all happy and normal.. yeah. It doesn't cut it with me. I don't play along with something that's bullshit.

I confronted my mother telling her how I felt. Her response was "I am an adult and I can do what I want." She also called me crazy and said I was insane for thinking this whole thing was a big deal. She never apologized. She also told me she would not say what the relationship between her and the guy in the house is, and that it wasn't my business.

I am very blessed that I am not alone in this. I have a fantastic counselor, a whole bunch of amazing friends, and most importantly, my boyfriend of 1 year who I am madly in love with. I am an only child, so I am in this by myself when it comes to being in the house. My boyfriend helps the most, but he lives in another state from mine.

I am hesitant on moving in with my dad because of the past, and I am afraid he won't let me go see my boyfriend. If I stay here, the whole atmosphere will remain tense until my mom owns up and apologizes. She's clinically depressed and on meds for her knee, so she expects all the pity. I have tried helping her, getting her to be active for long, but never does she want to do anything. If I stay in the house, I will be able to see my boyfriend. He is really, the closest thing I have right now.

As for the future, I have plans. I am an academic student, and I have a 3.3 GPA. I plan on going to college to become an Art Teacher. I do not take drugs, smoke, or drink alcohol. I am not letting this bring me down, but I would like to know what would be best for me. If I could do anything, I'd move to where my boyfriend is with his family in a heartbeat, but I need to finish my senior year strong.

TeenHelp, what is best for me? What should I do? Have you been through a similar situation?

Thank you for reading, if you did.

- Lime.

   
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Illumination13 Offline
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Re: Hardcore family issues. - September 18th 2009, 06:35 AM

You are really strong and I hope you continue doing so. Try your dad, talk to him and maybe he'll understand. Go in the direction that makes you feel happier or at least better.



(Bloo) Mac you're just a boy.
(Mac) But you're not even human!
(Bloo) But I'm not a kid.

(Mac) You're younger than me!
(Bloo) But I'm not a kid.
   
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Mittens The Cat Offline
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Re: Hardcore family issues. - September 19th 2009, 01:07 PM

ummmmmmmmm move in with ur dad and tell him about how you feel with your boyfriend
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