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I'm Not Who You Think I Am
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xxCookiiexMonsterxx's Avatar
 
Name: Steph
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Fleet =]

Posts: 286
Blog Entries: 24
Join Date: January 9th 2009

Losing them again.. - October 2nd 2009, 10:57 PM

Im terrified of losing my friends, I know Im not the easiest person to be friends with, I can be cold and almost ignore my friends all the way through to being clingy and worried about the person leaving me..
I end up with my friends hating me, not able to cope with the way I am.. and Im left still loving and caring about someone who hates me..
Things are so difficult, I dread being with my friends, knowing how hard I struggle when it comes to them leaving for the day or whatever..
I messed things up majorly with my last best friend, and I regret that..
But I cant lose my best friend now, she is.. i dont know.. everything to me, she kept me going when I was in hospital.. phoning me all the time
there until I was allowed leave.. Even now, when she has to get up for
work at like 6, she'll still be on the phone with me until like 1/2am, talking with me.. helping me, keeping me going.. Im so scared of losing her..
I thought I had someone who understood me before, and that ended badly. I dont know if she realises how difficult those kind of things are for me.. Im terrified Im gonna scare her off.. Like there's only so long people can cope with me for and we're close to that point.. Its like Im almost waiting for things to go wrong.. Im not sure why Im posting..
Just needed to get it out I spose..


[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

Baby, i want you to be my superman.
  Send a message via MSN to xxCookiiexMonsterxx  
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