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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Caged_Lion Offline
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Resentment towards my dad - October 9th 2009, 07:48 PM

I've just come back from a meal with my dad; we only do this every 3 weeks or so. Sometimes his wife while come along too, but tonight she was busy.
I feel way too old to feel this stupid and small around another person; I stutter and have done since I could talk, it's never normally an issue, but when I'm around him I can bearly get my words out. I tend to drink heavily when we are together so this only adds to the nervousness I feel around him. I resent him because of his attitude towards me and others, and I feel I must be a huge disappointment; I can bearly talk when I'm near him let alone hold a desent conversation.
Part of me feels abused; I don't mean that to come across in a melodramatic sense; but he makes me feel about 5 years old and the worse thing is I let him do it.

My parents divorced when I was about 1, so I don't remember him ever living with us. My mum still holds so much anger towards him ever after 21 years and I can't help but think this has coloured my view of him.
I wish he'd never been part of my life, I wouldn't remember him otherwise and feel I'd have been alot happier for it.

Just needed to vent.
   
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Re: Resentment towards my dad - October 9th 2009, 08:45 PM

Hey, I can totally relate. My parents divorced when I was 8 and my mom says she holds nothing against my dad anymore because she's done being mad at him. Other than that we are very similar. I love my dad, but I feel like I'll never please him no matter what I do and he treats me like a 5 year old and lectures me constantly about everything I've done wrong and then wonders why I'm mad at him.
   
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Re: Resentment towards my dad - October 10th 2009, 05:48 AM

Can definitely relate there, man. Parents aren't divorced, but I never knew them because my bastard father ditched us forcing my mother to give me away because she couldn't support me. To make matters worse, he left me for dead - in an environment where the police killed kids in poverty in cold blood. The only thing he ever gave me was fear that everyone in my life will someday leave me. I don't want to remember him, I don't even want to know he is my father because even though he's not there - he's got this firm grasp over my life, making me feel like a child again and nothing in comparison to him even though he's a fucking piece of shit. Sometimes to run I do resort to alcohol, I've tried to get a baring on this by resisting from putting alcohol back into my dorm room. Adopted, orphaned, but I still have the anger a son has towards their old man if they ditched them at any point in their life even before they're born - you've still got that history stigma attached to you.
   
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Re: Resentment towards my dad - October 10th 2009, 05:59 AM

Its okay to vent. This seems to be the night for dad-related posts. I'm sorry to hear that they'd divorced and its affected you and your mom so badly. It makes me glad I never knew my real dad, from what I hear he was pretty crappy. But I guess the only consolation I can offer is that you're 21, you're on your own now, and really, you dont have to see him if its making you feel so bad. If you really feel that way around him, screw him. You shouldn't have to feel that way whenever you two are together.


Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.


Music is life. Start living.
   
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