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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Rachel
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Family stuff. - October 30th 2009, 04:53 AM

I'm not even sure if this belongs here. You can move it if it doesn't.


Today my Dad cancelled on coming to my birthday dinner. It's my 18th, and I've never had any sort of birthday celebration where both my parents have been there since before they got divorced, which was when I was 4. So I was really looking forward to it, and now I just feel so upset. And it sucks, because he always makes me feel like this. I just don't get what I've done to make me not important.. Neither of my parents care about me, and I'm not exaggerating, I grew up not being noticed because my sister was such a horrible teen basically, drugs and all that stuff, put my parents through hell. And because I've always been a pretty okay kid, I don't drink tons, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't sleep around or anything, they never really cared. But now its gone further than them just not caring, now its like they hate me, like im some massive burdon, and I just cant take it anymore. It just all hurts so much. And I doubt it's ever going to change, because my sister is forever the favorite now, because she got pregnant at 19 and has given them their first grandchild? I'm not jealous of my nephew, or even my sister, I just think it's so unfair they don't give a crap about me, and I can't tell them any of this because the thought of them just being like 'okay' and thats it, just, I couldn't deal with it.

I don't know, I just feel like theres something wrong with me and it constantly hurts thinking about how things are with my parents, I just don't know what I've done, I don't know why they hate me so much.

Sorry this is so ranty, I guess I just needed to vent about everything because I feel like I'm going to explode.


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.


♀ + ♀ = ♥
♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥

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Re: Family stuff. - November 1st 2009, 09:00 AM

Happy belated birthday, Rachel. It sounds like it was a crappy way to spend it, with thoughts lke that floating in your head, but happy b-day anyhow. (wow, that was a lot less low-key than I was hoping for)

I bet it's tough feeling like you're always in the shadow of your sister, like no matter how much you succeed or how big you screw up, that you'll always go unnoticed. I don't want to say that I know your parents care... frankly, you could be right and they may be just way too distracted by your sister. But I'd be surprised if they hate you.

It sounds like you know that you've made something of yourself (and even when you didn't feel like they were behind you, to boot!) and it sounds awfully confusing to not know why they don't seem to pay attention to you. I wish I could tell you, because you sound like the kind of daughter that parents would be proud of.
   
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Re: Family stuff. - November 1st 2009, 09:06 AM

Oh, my birthday hasn't been yet, he cancelled on the dinner about 25 days in advance. But thanks for the happy birthday anyway!


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.


♀ + ♀ = ♥
♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥

[♥]
   
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Re: Family stuff. - November 1st 2009, 09:07 AM

Well damnit, happy... um... what's the opposite of belated?... birthday.
   
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Re: Family stuff. - November 1st 2009, 09:10 AM

Ummm... Just.. Happy.. Random day..?

Happy random day to you too!


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.


♀ + ♀ = ♥
♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥

[♥]
   
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Re: Family stuff. - November 1st 2009, 02:19 PM

Ahhh Rach. im sorry your dad is like this. i remember you telling me 'bout this, you said you were fine! you know you can always talk to me if you need to vent right?

talk to your parents. i know they might be passive about it and that will bother you, but this way you can at least say youve tried it. also that means that they are aware, maybe it will hit them sometime.

good luck Rach, im here to talk if you need it
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Re: Family stuff. - November 1st 2009, 09:22 PM

I would try the talking to them thing, but I can't, with my Dad, we like, don't talk about anything, and I feel like if I do talk to them, it's making me seem all vulnerable and weak, and I hate people knowing I'm like that.


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.


♀ + ♀ = ♥
♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥

[♥]
   
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