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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Cullen Offline
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She's leaving again. - January 26th 2009, 02:06 PM

I guess you might need the backstory...
A few years ago one of my friends moved to the other side of the world. We weren't really that close, but we were close enough to try and keep in contact. But the long distance thing doesn't work, even for just friends, and we just kinda lost contact. We said Hello on msn now and again, but we just...lost it.
In July she moved back here. We saw eachother like, twice in the first month she was back, but then she got me a job where she worked, and we were pretty much inseperable.
Her boyfriend was still back on the other side of the world, and the plan was that he was gonna move over here in February, but his visa didn't work out. She decided that she would move back over there to be with him. But he has been abit of a twat and she's really cut up about him. She's leaving to go back on thursday, but I don't think she's going to be with him. Her parents are telling her to stay here but she says she hates it here, she says all the people are two-faced backstabbers...But isn't that just all people? Everyone can be like that wherever you go, right? So she's going on thursday...
So heres the point... We have drifted appart again, and she thinks its all my fault. She says I never make the effort to meet up with her. I quit school in July and I pretty much isolated myself from all my friends there... I mean, I didn't really get along with most of them, but I was polite and all to them... But I lost my best friend when I left... I drifted from her too, but thats a different story... So this girl who's moving is the only friend I have, and now she's leaving and we will drift again. we are already drifting. Likie I said, she accused me of never making the effort, and that hurt like hell. She even brought up the friend that I lost when I left school... I've tried so hard to be a good friend to her, through everything that she's going through, but it just hasn't worked. I guess I'm not a good enough friend. Whenever she's upset I can tell that she wishes she was back across the world with her best friend... I can tell that I'm not even half of what her best friend is. This girl is the best friend I ever had, I could tell her everything... And now she's telling me how she thinks I don't care about her...how its her thats doing the running around arranging to meet up. It fucking hurts. She's the best friend I've ever had, and it hurts.




When she leaves, I will have no-one.
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Strider Offline
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Re: She's leaving again. - January 26th 2009, 05:44 PM

Hi there,

It's really difficult on friendships when people move. I think that the best thing you could do right now is talk to her and explain how much you do care about her and honestly put in the most effort you can to keep in touch with her even when she is halfway around the world. If you need to, try and make correspondence with her a routine and email back and forth once a week.

Before your friend moves, just try and be there for her as much as possible. I'm sure she's upset about leaving her friends and family. Saying what she did to you might just be an attempt at justifying her move to herself. Spend as much time with her as possible and do what you can to be a good friend. I'm sure she will realize that you care about her.

And when your friend does move, it would be a good idea for you to contact the best friend you had in school again. Just see what she is up to and see if she wants to hang out sometime. There are other ways of making new friends too, like at work, clubs, classes, and doing volunteering. There are plenty of places to meet new friends too, so you don't need to be alone in this.

If you ever want to talk sometime, feel free to send me a message.

Nat.


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Cullen Offline
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Re: She's leaving again. - January 30th 2009, 06:41 PM

So, she went...and I'm in pieces...

Her plane took off last night, landed in singapore around 11 thismorning for the change-over, and landed finally this evenong. She got there safely.

I last saw her a couple of days ago, and I'm already going crazy from missing her so much. While she was over here I went more than 2 days with out seeing her and I was fine, but now...when shes on the other side of the earth...I just can't stand it...

I miss her so much it hurts I actually feel physically sick...And I keep crying, and I hardly ever cry...

It's like I know that I'm finally alone... I have nobody else...When she was here I could just call her up or text her and ask to see her and I could, but I can't do that now. I don't know when I will see her next...I miss her : (

Crying again...
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