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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question Losing my besties..? - November 25th 2009, 05:06 AM

Alright, so about a week ago my friend Savvy texted me asking me why i told another friend Sara that i told her that i told another one of our friends Ben that she (meaning sara) was going to break up with her boyfriend Austin.

Complicated? very.

Basically i have four friends mad at me over this situation, when i hadn't even talked to ben in a month and a half... so how could i have told him this?
The friend that actually did it supposedly told sara, but if thats true then why are the four of them mad at me? I haven't done anything. And i dont want to lose my best friends.. i've known them for so long, and they've been the people i've leaned on when i needed help since i can remember. Basically I'm not really sure if i should just forget them because without hearing my side they all believed a lie. or if i should try to make them see that i didnt do anything.. im really confused, any help at all would be greatly appreciated..
   
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Re: Losing my besties..? - November 25th 2009, 11:03 PM

Hi there,

Complicated is right! It sounds like you're stuck in one big round of 'he said/she said' problems and that is never any fun. Since it's obvious that you did not do what your friends think you did, then you've really got to talk to them all and sort this out. If they listen to what you have to say, then they'll realize that this is one big misunderstanding.

Try to explain to your friends exactly what happened and that you had not spoken to Ben in over a month. Let them know that you wouldn't say things that they did not want you to tell people because you respect their feelings and always have. You are all really good friends, and a fight like this isn't worth breaking the friendship over. Tell your friends that you want to fix this and that your friendship with them is important. Maybe find out if you possibly let something slip that could end up passing on to this guy and see if there is anything you need to apologize about.

Try to talk about this calmly and avoid a huge argument. When people get upset about silly things like this, they may act drastically and that could have a bad impact on your friendship. Try to stay calm and keep your friends calm when you explain what the situation is. Listen to what they have to say too and figure out why they think you did this.

I hope you can get things worked out!
Take care and good luck.

Nat.


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