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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
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I'm just the best friend. - January 27th 2009, 01:23 AM

I just made a new best friend not that long ago. We're pretty close.

I've openly admitted that I like him. He's done the same, but ALWAYS adds some "but" or something after. Then when I say something about it, he changes it. At first he said, "The distance is too far away." and then goes too, "No, it's not. I'll drive in a little and I can come see you." He keeps calling me cute and telling me how he's flirting with me.

Then he goes to how he doesn't want to lose me as a friend, but then goes right back to acting like we're together. I've talked to him about it almost every night since I told him I like him. Every night I end up crying. But tonight he left before I started, which I'm pretty sure he knew I was about to cry, so he took off. He tells me his loves me and I'll be his best friend forever. I love him to death too, but he keeps confusing me and leading me on. He always jokes about us making out and things like that.

I asked him today as a joke because he's never watched porn. I went, "If I was in a porn, would you watch it?" and then laughed. He went, "Depends. If it's you just alone or with another guy." and then he said if it was with another guy he wouldn't watch it. I asked why and he just said he refused to see me having sex with someone else. Then went, "What if I did it with another girl in front of you?" and he wasn't joking. So, me being me, got upset and went, "I'd beat you in the face." and he went, "Why?" and that upset me even more. "Because I like you. I've openly admitted that to you so many times." and then we talked about dating and I got really really hurt.

"You're just another guy who can't see me as any more then a friend, right?" (When we first met, he wanted to date me. Not be my friend.) He said he could see me as more. Then I asked him if he just didn't want to lose me and he said yes, that's why he didn't date another friend. And that to me seems like there is no chance for me.

I don't wanna wait for him to have him say no. I'm sick of waiting. I told him he was the one person I thought was worth waiting for, but...if he doesn't see anything, I don't wanna force it and make things weird between us. I just don't know what to do.

He also tells me I'm everything he wants in a girl.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx


Last edited by Jessielove; January 27th 2009 at 01:29 AM.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm just the best friend. - January 27th 2009, 08:38 AM


It kind of sounds like he's confused. As you've said, you guys fool around and such. So I say stop poking him about the subject of dating and take life with each breath you take for awhile. Maybe once you stop bringing up the dating subject things will get better, but the more you keep on him about it the more he's going to be bothered about it. Theres a chance he's going to think that you don't like him anymore and in that case, if thats what your scared of just bring it up once and awhile. But not all the time.

:] I hope I helped


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
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Re: I'm just the best friend. - January 27th 2009, 03:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooke Basketcase View Post

It kind of sounds like he's confused. As you've said, you guys fool around and such. So I say stop poking him about the subject of dating and take life with each breath you take for awhile. Maybe once you stop bringing up the dating subject things will get better, but the more you keep on him about it the more he's going to be bothered about it. Theres a chance he's going to think that you don't like him anymore and in that case, if thats what your scared of just bring it up once and awhile. But not all the time.

:] I hope I helped
It's not that I'm scared he won't like me. It's just, my other best friend...who happened to be my first love, did this to me. He went one way then another and then back to the start. He kept doing this and I kept letting him. Now with my new best friend doing it too, it hurts me and now I don't wanna stay around and find out because I'm afraid I'll get hurt again.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm just the best friend. - January 27th 2009, 08:14 PM

Maybe you should give him time. Just be friends in the time being and maybe that will take things further? Then again, I've heard that you should never play the friend card. I guess if you really don't want to lose him as a friend, you can move on from considering the girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, focus on being friends and not expect anything else?
There are plenty of other great people out there.

I'm no expert, but maybe if things are rocky right now, who knows what will happen if you 2 are actually in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship?
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
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Re: I'm just the best friend. - January 28th 2009, 05:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Delivery View Post
Maybe you should give him time. Just be friends in the time being and maybe that will take things further? Then again, I've heard that you should never play the friend card. I guess if you really don't want to lose him as a friend, you can move on from considering the girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, focus on being friends and not expect anything else?
There are plenty of other great people out there.

I'm no expert, but maybe if things are rocky right now, who knows what will happen if you 2 are actually in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship?
Well, last night he pulled something I wasn't ready for. He one asked to be his Valentine and two said, "Maybe someday we'll be together." and then I said, "Keyword maybe." and then he said, "No, keyword someday." so I don't get what he's pointing at anymore. He says someday we'll be together...but adding a maybe and I'm so confused.

I don't know what would happen, but I wanna find out.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I'm just the best friend. - January 28th 2009, 06:09 PM

Hi there Jessie,

This guy seems like a trouble maker to me. Not in the way that he's a bad person, but just that he seems to be purposely confusing you. If you want to be friends, then stay friends and maybe try to stay off the dating subject.

But if you are really interested in dating this guy, ask him straight up 'Do you want to go out with me?' or 'Do you want to date?'. It sounds like he's been beating around the bush a bit too long and it's getting to the point where it sounds like he doesn't want to commit to a relationship. His lack of honesty may be a bad sign for future dating, but that's for you to consider.

Remember that there's nothing wrong with being just friends. But if you want something more, make it clear and make sure you get an answer from him.

I hope this works out for you.
Nat.


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