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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy My mom - December 9th 2009, 05:05 PM

Well to sum it up I have been going through a lot lately and up until this past September I never thought I could ever trust my mom. After we actually became a little closer I felt more comfortable at home.

The only problem is with whats going on with my feelings and relationship I really wish I could talk to her but every time I think of it all I can think is that she wont care and she will judge me because she really likes my gf and I don't know how I could ever talk to her about it or bring it up to at least give her a chance to listen.

I Honestly don't think this feeling is a simple fix because I have constantly run the situation in my head and I don't know what to do if she does act the way I'm thinking I'm tempted to walk out and just leave and go some where with out telling her.

Does any one have an idea how I could at least bring it up to her that I really need to talk to her about some thing?

and a way to kinda relax my self and not be so judgmental towards her?
   
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Re: My mom - December 9th 2009, 07:52 PM

Hi Ryan,

It does sound like you're in a really difficult situation. I know how hard it can be to start to trust parents and talk about problems that you're having in your life. But I am really glad that you want to talk to your mom about this. Having her support will be really helpful, and it's important that you make your mom a part of your life.

In order to get rid of anxiety before talking to her, try to do a calming activity, or one that will let out a lot of your energy. Try keeping your mind busy by reading, writing, drawing, or doing some kind of puzzle. Another thing you could do is go for a walk or run beforehand.

When you talk with your mom, begin by telling her that you want to tell her something that is really important to you and you want her to listen all the way through before she says anything. Have her listen to what you have to say and then let her say what she needs to say. Listen to her side of things and find out how she feels about what has been going on. If she knows that this has been bothering you and it's really important that she listens, then I'm sure she'll understand. Also, she may like your girlfriend, but you are her son, and that sure means a lot more.

I hope that everything goes well when you talk with your mom. Good luck!

Nat.


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Re: My mom - December 10th 2009, 03:18 AM

thank you thats good advice
   
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Re: My mom - December 10th 2009, 03:49 AM

I agree with the aforementioned advice whole-heartedly.

Id like to add that you can write a "letter" to your mom telling her what is going on and why you didnt want to bring it up in person. You can leave the letter on her bed or something.
That may be a less intimidating way of "talking" to her and that way she cant interrupt or argue before you are done with what you have to say. And you can read over it before you give it to her.
It will probably make the situation calmer and more peaceful

Hope that helps!


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Re: My mom - December 12th 2009, 02:32 AM

I agree with the mentioned advice. I would also add that you should practice talking to her. Just practice talking to her. It may not go as you expect so just prepare for that also.
   
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Re: My mom - December 12th 2009, 04:01 PM

Just thought I'd let every one know I talked to her I wrote her a note to let her know. To sum up the whole thing I worried more then I should have and it went good well as good as having to talk to some one can be so that is a plus ^_^ thank you every one.
   
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