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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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HarmonicToxin Offline
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A long way from happiness... - December 14th 2009, 08:57 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm not sure if this is truly triggering or not...but I'm going to label it as such just in case.

So, over the past couple months, I've had friend trouble. It seems...almost all my friends, including the two I thought would stand by me through anything...they've all abandoned me. I don't get invited anywhere, I get snapped at...and it seems that I have to yell at them to get any sort of reaction at all. It hurts...to be left behind. I went on senior retreat with one of them...and I thought we'd gotten close...but it seems he doesn't even remember that now...
And the other friend...we've been just about besties since Freshman Year of high school...but now she's distant...she won't talk to me, tell me anything...i've noticed that she's having a hard time, but she won't tell me what's wrong. When I ask, she tells me she's fine...

I don't know what I've done. I don't know how to fix it...I don't want these friendships to end...I'm not sure what that'd do to me...When all this started to get really bad, and I was always left out...well, when that happened, I started to burn my back. I'd turn on the shower water, make it scalding hot, and let it just run down my back. It'd hurt for awhile...but it made me feel better...

This all just hurts...
Any advice would be great. Thanks guys.
   
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Re: A long way from happiness... - December 15th 2009, 09:57 AM

Why not tell them how you feel? It may seem daft, but they may not realise what they're doing. They might have a lot of stress from somewhere, and it comes out in a negative way. Tell them that you feel left out and that you feel like you've done something wrong, and ask them what it is. It can seem scary, but it will help your friendship, either by strengthening your relationships or removing them, which seems bad but you feel bad now. If you ask, you can say that you tried to save the friendships and that's all that you can do. Some people drift apart, but if you want to stay close then talk to them and tell them how you feel. Then they can talk to you and hopefully it can get sorted out.

I hope this helps and that you get it all sorted
   
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Re: A long way from happiness... - December 15th 2009, 07:19 PM

Thing is...I've tried to sort this out. The guy friend told me some reasons he thinks my bestie may be mad...and I tried to talk to her about them, and I got no responses, so I got fed up, and just said, "sorry, I guess you don't want to talk about it..." and she said "Thanks for understanding that..." and I just thought, why can't we talk about it? It has nothing to do with me and her, it has to do with me and my ex boyfriend...which, I hate to sound harsh but, she has no reason or right to be upset/angry about...
   
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Re: A long way from happiness... - December 16th 2009, 06:10 PM

If this is really upsetting you, then you could confront her, ask her why she's upset over something that she has nothing to do with. Tell her that she might not want to talk about it, but you want to because you're tired of getting the cold shoulder. If she does tell you then you can sort it. If she doesn't, it might be time to move away from these relationships. It's hard, but sometimes all they do is cause pain, so it's best to move away before the pain gets worse

Good luck
   
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