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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Shonda Offline
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Unhappy My So Say Best Friend - December 20th 2009, 07:03 AM

Ok...the other day my best friend's sister in-law decided to tell all kinds of lies to my boyfriend. She told him I was cheating on him and I was doing all kinds of things that are not true. I don't speak to this girl.....we are not friends....she doesn't even really know anything about me. I have no idea why she would be doing this because I haven't done anything to her. SOooooo, I called my "best friend", because she's the only person I know who knows the girl, and asked her to talk to her and see what her problem is. My best friend says she doesn't want to get in the middle and she won't tell her anything. This really pisses me off because if it were a reverse situation I would find out so the situation could be resolved or something. Is she doing the right thing by staying out of this? or The wrong thing by not taking action?
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Re: My So Say Best Friend - December 20th 2009, 03:11 PM

Hi Shonda,

As much as you want your friend to talk to this person, she is doing the right thing by staying out of it. It's understandable that she doesn't want something like this to come in between your friendship or her relationship with this person. I know you expect her to help, and I can understand the position you are in, but your friend has the right to stay neutral, and you should let her.

Instead, why not ask this friend to get the phone number of this person? You could call her up and ask her why she is saying those things yourself. Talking to her in person is really the best way to go about it.

I hope you are able to resolve this.
Nat.


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Re: My So Say Best Friend - December 20th 2009, 05:50 PM

I would have to say that I agree with your friend on this. While it seems like she's not being there for you, her getting involved probably won't help much of anything. It would be difficult for her to cause problems with her sister in law and it's better that you let her stay neutral in this.

Like Nat suggested, the easiest way to get a solution to this is to call the sister in law up and ask her yourself. She probably isn't expecting you to confront you, so if you do, she'll probably be more likely to explain it all and fix it. If she doesn't give you an explanation, the most you can do is to ask her to stop.
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Re: My So Say Best Friend - December 20th 2009, 11:01 PM

She won't give me her sis in-law's number. And if I WAS to confront her in person.....OHHH BOY....There WILL be a fight and the only place we would meet up is at my best friend's house. She's short tempered and I'm short tempered and I know things will get heated immediately I wouldn't want to disrespect my friend's mother like that by fighting at her house. That's why I asked my friend to talk to her. I'm starting to think my friend has something to do with all of this though because her sis in-law told my boyfriend some things that only my best friend could know (but she stretched the truth ALOT). I'm thinking that's the reason she won't talk to her. How could she sit in this girls face everyday knowing she is out there spreading lies about me and not say a word. AM I the only one that thinks that's messed up??
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Re: My So Say Best Friend - December 23rd 2009, 05:29 PM

No, I also think that's wrong. And it is wrong. But confronting her will not solve the issue but only bring much more negativity. You go to your boyfriend and tell him the truth. The only person who you should care about in all this is your boyfriend. Go and tell him the truth. Because in the end it is your relationship with your boyfriend which will truly suffer.
You focus on your boyfriend and your relationship with him.

Last edited by Jacksonian; December 23rd 2009 at 05:31 PM. Reason: addition + correction
   
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