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Question Lying about my age to a friend.. help, please? - April 30th 2010, 03:20 PM

This question's about the importance (or unimportance) of age in friendships.
Two years ago, when I was 13, and I met this (at the time) apparently 17 year-old on the internet. Actually, I emailed him about this game he was selling on Amazon, and we started talking online. We've since developed quite a friendship, but I told him (for my own protection, of course) that I was a 24 year old teacher (to fit in with my own timetable, you see). He showed me his house on the webcam, and I glimpsed his face. I *know* that he's, at the most, 19, so I feel like I can, and should, tell him the truth. I have two issues: firstly, if I tell him, I'm not sure we'll be friends anymore. Secondly, I don't want him to treat me with less maturity just because of my lower age. As I'm sure you can tell, I'm extremely mature for my age. But that's another thread. And yeah, I know how dangerous internet exclusive friendships are, but he's the only person I can speak to in my mother-tongue that actually gets me, y'know?
Anyway, what should I do? Tell him the truth or... keep the secret until *insert age here*?
   
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Re: Lying about my age to a friend.. help, please? - April 30th 2010, 04:01 PM

Ihonestly would just tell him but explain your reasons why you did what you did


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Re: Lying about my age to a friend.. help, please? - April 30th 2010, 04:17 PM

I agree with LittleMissComplicated on this one. I would tell him the truth. I think if you tell him why you did it, it will make you seem more mature for your age. In a way it is kinda like fessing up to something you did wrong. Doing that makes you seem more mature. So i would tell him. Lying and saying you are 24 is a big jump and he might be a little upset at first. Dont wine, dont yell, and be nice. Thing about his side and how he would feel ebfore you tell him, but i would tell him as son as possible. If you need some idea's on how to tell him PM me!


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Thumbs up Re: Lying about my age to a friend.. help, please? - April 30th 2010, 06:14 PM

Thanks for your quick replies! I'm speaking to him now, but I can't sum up the courage to tell him. You couldn't give me any pointers as to how I would *break it*? Thanks again, guys.
   
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Re: Lying about my age to a friend.. help, please? - April 30th 2010, 10:28 PM

There's no point in waiting until *insert age* to tell him the truth. Being a few years closer to 24 won't make it any easier, or better. Also, the longer you keep this a secret from him, the more embarrassing it's going to be when you finally work up the courage to tell him the truth.

There's no "right" way to break this sort of thing to someone. You just need to say it, without too much suspension or fluff leading up to it (ex. "Have you ever lied to someone?" or "What would you do if...?"). When you both have time to sit down and chat for an hour or so, tell him that you have something to confess, and that you hope he can forgive you. Tell him what you told us: that you did it because you wanted to protect yourself while chatting with an online stranger, but that you now realize it was misleading and wrong to do so.

One of my online friends lied about his gender. I'll admit that our friendship isn't *quite* the same as it used to be... but I managed to forgive him rather quickly, because I understood his reasons for doing so (even if I disagreed with them). Hopefully, the outcome will be favorable for you as well. =) Good luck!





   
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May 1st 2010, 08:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleMissComplicated View Post
Ihonestly would just tell him but explain your reasons why you did what you did
this is what you should do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cor View Post
Thanks for your quick replies! I'm speaking to him now, but I can't sum up the courage to tell him. You couldn't give me any pointers as to how I would *break it*? Thanks again, guys.
just do it. sum up the courage and tell him. Start out slow :

hey, i have to tell you something......

and then tell him.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by PSY; May 2nd 2010 at 07:44 AM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
   
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