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Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 1st 2010, 07:40 PM

I'm a female who doesn't have any male friend because I don't get along well with males because I'm very feminine and for someone to be friends with males this person have to be at least a bit masculine and being masculine means being rude and aggressive.Males are rude and aggressive people and since I'm an extremly serene,quiet and sensitive person I try to avoid rude and aggressive people.
I have this female friend who is just like a boy.She has masculine manners,she is aggressive and VERY rude.She is concerned that she has a masculine way of being,sometimes she says that she is more like a boy than like a girl and she has more male friends than female friends.She sits like a boy and acts like a boy.We really like each other as friends, we are always together in school but I just can't stand when she is rude,she is very impatient so she is always being rude to everyone and even to her friends.When someone is rude to me I feel very hurt inside.She knows that I hate the masculine way of being and that's why when I have a male friend this friend will be a very effeminate gay male.
I don't want to end my friendship with her but she knows that I'm capable of doing that because she has seen me ending my friendship with a girl who was very friend with me just because she was always rude to me and was always treating me bad.

What should I do?
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 1st 2010, 08:02 PM

Try talking to her if you haven't. And listen to what she says and start out from there.
Have you tried to talk to her about her rudeness to you ?

NB : Being masculine isn't all about being rude and aggressive. There are some men out there who are emotional and are still guys. So its not about being rude and aggressive.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 1st 2010, 09:19 PM

When I talk to her she says that this is the way that she is and she will never change.

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Originally Posted by Jacksonian View Post
NB : Being masculine isn't all about being rude and aggressive. There are some men out there who are emotional and are still guys. So its not about being rude and aggressive.
I have never seen a male who wasn't aggressive or rude.Masculine nature is aggressive.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 12:53 AM

I think you need to talk to her about how she makes you feel when she is rude, and maybe not take everything to heart. I know how it feels to be hurt when people are aggressive or rude around you because I am the same way. I am feminine in a lot of ways.
But Jacksonian, is right, not all men out there are rude and aggressive. I can't stand the ones that are, but I have met some really nice guys who aren't and we are really good friends. None of them are gay or anything. I am sorry that all you have meet are rude and aggressive, maybe you just take it that way...

about your friend, just tell her it hurts when she is that way, and ask her to try and be a little nicer. You have to understand her personality as much as she needs to respect yours.

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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 01:57 AM

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Originally Posted by NeverFeltThisWay1991 View Post
I think you need to talk to her about how she makes you feel when she is rude, and maybe not take everything to heart. I know how it feels to be hurt when people are aggressive or rude around you because I am the same way. I am feminine in a lot of ways.
But Jacksonian, is right, not all men out there are rude and aggressive. I can't stand the ones that are, but I have met some really nice guys who aren't and we are really good friends. None of them are gay or anything. I am sorry that all you have meet are rude and aggressive, maybe you just take it that way...

about your friend, just tell her it hurts when she is that way, and ask her to try and be a little nicer. You have to understand her personality as much as she needs to respect yours.

Amanda
I didn't said that nice guys are gay I said that I can only be friends with guys who are very effeminate gays.

Sometimes I try to talk to her but she always says that this the way that she is and she is never going to change and sometimes she pretends that she is not listening and doesn't even look at me in the face and sometimes she mocks me.
Actually,she is proud of the ways that she is,she thinks that shes is right being like that.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 04:26 AM

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Sometimes I try to talk to her but she always says that this the way that she is and she is never going to change and sometimes she pretends that she is not listening and doesn't even look at me in the face and sometimes she mocks me.
Personalities and how people act are hard to change, it takes years and years but even then, doesn't always stay permanent. If you want to remain friends with her, then you're just going to have to get used to how she is because your request of her changing her personality simply to remain friends with you is an unreasonable one.

Telling her over and over to change may be nagging of her and when nagging for an unreasonable request, anyone would get annoyed by it. I'm sure you would too.

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Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
Actually,she is proud of the ways that she is,she thinks that shes is right being like that.
You make it sound as though her personality and behaviors are incorrect, presumably with the view that yours are correct. Self-righteousness such as this won't help out the relationship, if anything it would serve as a means to ruin it.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 05:27 AM

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Personalities and how people act are hard to change, it takes years and years but even then, doesn't always stay permanent. If you want to remain friends with her, then you're just going to have to get used to how she is because your request of her changing her personality simply to remain friends with you is an unreasonable one.

Telling her over and over to change may be nagging of her and when nagging for an unreasonable request, anyone would get annoyed by it. I'm sure you would too.



You make it sound as though her personality and behaviors are incorrect, presumably with the view that yours are correct. Self-righteousness such as this won't help out the relationship, if anything it would serve as a means to ruin it.
Oh no my request is not unreasonable.Her rudeness is disturbing our friendship and we(me and my friend) think that friendship is a very important commitment,we treat friendship as a marriage.
So for us when you say that requesting her to chage her personality just to remain friends with her is unreasonable,looks like you think that friendship is somethig that you can throw away so easily because it's not an important thing,one will have many friends in life,don't you think?
Well,for us it's not like that.Friendship is something divine.We really think that a friend is even more important than a wife or a husband,YES WE REALLY THINK LIKE THIS IT'S NOT A JOKE,WE TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY.When she had a boyfriend(they split up) she valued me more than her boyfriend and when I have a boyfriend I will do the same to her,when she asked me for advices on her relationship with her boyfriend she would strictly follow all the advices that I gave to her.

She thinks that she is always the correct one and she is always right.
I forgot to mention that she is very bossy too.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 08:06 AM

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Originally Posted by LazyInside
I have never seen a male who wasn't aggressive or rude.Masculine nature is aggressive.
Then you haven't met enough men. =) My boyfriend is rather masculine, and he's neither rude nor aggressive. Yes, sometimes he is rude... but EVERYONE is capable of being rude.

If anyone is excessively rude and/or aggressive (male or female, "masculine" or "feminine"), then you have every right to stop being friends with them. Keep in mind, of course, that "opinionated" and "assertive" can sometimes be mistaken as "rude" and "aggressive". Those distinctions will become more and more apparent as you grow up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyInside
So for us when you say that requesting her to chage her personality just to remain friends with her is unreasonable,looks like you think that friendship is somethig that you can throw away so easily because it's not an important thing,one will have many friends in life,don't you think?
So you would be willing to change YOUR personality, in order to stay friends with her? If she asked you to become more "masculine" for her sake, would you? I'm betting your answer is "no"... otherwise, you wouldn't be posting here. Friendship is important... but remaining true to yourself is just as important, if not more so. Unless she is excessive rude/aggressive, to the point where she's constantly hurting those around her (not just you, but EVERYONE in her life), then I have to agree with the other member: it's unreasonable for you to ask her to change, because YOU certainly wouldn't be willing to change for HER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyInside
Well,for us it's not like that.Friendship is something divine.We really think that a friend is even more important than a wife or a husband,YES WE REALLY THINK LIKE THIS IT'S NOT A JOKE,WE TAKE THIS VERY SERIOUSLY.When she had a boyfriend(they split up) she valued me more than her boyfriend and when I have a boyfriend I will do the same to her,when she asked me for advices on her relationship with her boyfriend she would strictly follow all the advices that I gave to her.
I have to warn you... you're going to have a difficult time making friends with these points-of-view. I'm not saying they're wrong... I'm just saying that very few people think of friendship as more important than one's personal identity, or marriage.






Last edited by PSY; May 2nd 2010 at 08:17 AM. Reason: Additional quotes/responses.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 07:12 PM

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Originally Posted by PSY View Post


Then you haven't met enough men. =) My boyfriend is rather masculine, and he's neither rude nor aggressive. Yes, sometimes he is rude... but EVERYONE is capable of being rude.

If anyone is excessively rude and/or aggressive (male or female, "masculine" or "feminine"), then you have every right to stop being friends with them. Keep in mind, of course, that "opinionated" and "assertive" can sometimes be mistaken as "rude" and "aggressive". Those distinctions will become more and more apparent as you grow up.




I have to warn you... you're going to have a difficult time making friends with these points-of-view. I'm not saying they're wrong... I'm just saying that very few people think of friendship as more important than one's personal identity, or marriage.
She herself says that she's masculine and is like a boy and is very proud of that.

Yes,friendships are way more important than marriages or dates because your husband,wife,girlfriend,boyfriend can leave you but your friend will always be there for you.Marriage and dates are relationships that one day will end,they are relationships that have deadline but friendship is forever.

It isn't true that very few people think of friendship as more important than one's personal identity,or marriage.All the friends that I have think that friendship is more important than one's personal indentity,marriage and dates otherwise I wouldn't even be friends with them.
A person that don't highly value friendship cannot be my friend.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 07:59 PM

I think that your point of view about friendship may end up hurting you in the end. When you grow up, there will be very few people that will consider you more important than there significant other and thats just how it is. There is a deep connection what husband and wife have that friendships can not have. In order for a marrage to work they must be very best friends. Think about it, many husbands and wives concieve children together. That means that ultimately you will be seen as number 2 in your best friends life. That doesn't mean they don't love you, but it means that they have their priorities straight. U will understand more I think when you are older.

Also all men are not rude and agressive...i mean who falls in love with rude and agressive? Yes, men are more straightforeward. Men are different, but they do not all carry those negative qualities. I think maybe you need to reavaluate what rude and agressive are. I am a sensative person like you I am very easily hurt, but you need to think of this from other peoples perspective, not just your own. After that, if your friend is just blatently hurting you, or really is a rude person, break it off with her. Don't ask her to change again, if she doesn't care about anyone then that is on her.


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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 08:38 PM

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I think that your point of view about friendship may end up hurting you in the end. When you grow up, there will be very few people that will consider you more important than there significant other and thats just how it is. There is a deep connection what husband and wife have that friendships can not have. In order for a marrage to work they must be very best friends. Think about it, many husbands and wives concieve children together. That means that ultimately you will be seen as number 2 in your best friends life. That doesn't mean they don't love you, but it means that they have their priorities straight. U will understand more I think when you are older.
I would never be friends with a person who doesn't think like me.I do my best to find people that think like me to be my friends and guess what?I do find them.
I don't want to get married nor have children.I don't belive in marriage,marriage is a big lie and if a person lives a long time with another one this person will get bored.When you marry you take many responsabilities and that's why I think that when a person marry this person cannot have friends anymore in order to take care of the wife or husband,house,work and children.Marriage ruins a woman's life,it's good only for men because he will have housemaid and a sexual slave and can even have fun outside the marriage if you know what I mean.Men aren't able to stay with an only woman for a long time,women are able but men will end up cheating.Children ruins your body and they are very expensive because of school,clothes and many other things.
I'm not a person who was made for marriage and I think that no one should ever get married.Marriage and children ruins everyone's life.
And I'm kinda lonely person,I'd rather be alone than with someone else.

Everything above are my thougts and I would never be friends with people who don't agree with me.WHEN I GROW UP I INTEND TO BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MARRIED AND ARE THE TYPES OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SINGLE FOREVER AND ARE LONERS.I LIKE LONER PEOPLE BECAUSE I'M ONE OF THEM.I HATE OUTGOING PEOPLE.

I'm not the only person in this world who think like this.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 08:51 PM

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Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
Yes,friendships are way more important than marriages or dates because your husband,wife,girlfriend,boyfriend can leave you but your friend will always be there for you.Marriage and dates are relationships that one day will end,they are relationships that have deadline but friendship is forever.

It isn't true that very few people think of friendship as more important than one's personal identity,or marriage.All the friends that I have think that friendship is more important than one's personal indentity,marriage and dates otherwise I wouldn't even be friends with them.
A person that don't highly value friendship cannot be my friend.
I have to agree with Steph here, friendships can't be more important than a marriage because marriages are a form of friendship - a proper spouse is someone that you are friends with firstly, and decide to marry because you decide that that friendship has evolved to the point where you want to stay with them indefinitely. Sexual acts are merely a means to get closer to that person emotionally.

Ultimately it's your choice whether you want to stay with your friend or not. If it's really bugging you that they're a bit tomboyish (which, as many have said before, is more personality than anything else) then you have to ask yourself if that really outweighs all the reasons you liked her in the first place.

On the male point, it strikes me that you may not really know much about others and you might simply need to get to know a few more people. Males aren't all rude and boyish (and gays aren't all effeminate - in fact I don't personally know a single effeminate gay myself). I mean, I wouldn't count myself as masculine - I don't play any sport whatsoever, fill my laptop with paintings of cute animals and spend my weekends drawing and wandering around town with a camera while many of my lady friends are getting into drunk barfights. As far as I can tell you seem to think that the world is filled with stereotypes; but each person is a unique creature.

[EDIT] To your last post: I don't know what I can say, other than you're missing the point. You don't marry to fit a particular social role - you marry for love. If you love someone you don't mistreat them.

I would also recommend that you stay away from feminist literature for a while...
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 09:18 PM

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[EDIT] To your last post: I don't know what I can say, other than you're missing the point. You don't marry to fit a particular social role - you marry for love. If you love someone you don't mistreat them.

I would also recommend that you stay away from feminist literature for a while...
I only believe in mothers' love and God's love,others types of love just don't exist in my opinion.
What is the problem in remain single forever? There are many people out there who never marry,aren't there? This is not a feminist thing!!

It doesn't matter how hard you try to make a marriage work,it never works.Everyone that marry always end up getting a divorce.

Women want money,men want beautiful women.

Marriage is a prison.I enjoy freedom.

All that I'm saying here are not feminist stuff,it's just facts.We are always seeing couples getting divorces all the time,couples cheating,couples in unhappy marriages,couples complaning endlessly about their marriages,couples complaining about their sexual life and the list goes on...
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 2nd 2010, 09:33 PM

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Originally Posted by LazyInside
I would never be friends with a person who doesn't think like me.I do my best to find people that think like me to be my friends and guess what?I do find them.
I don't want to get married nor have children.I don't belive in marriage,marriage is a big lie and if a person lives a long time with another one this person will get bored.When you marry you take many responsabilities and that's why I think that when a person marry this person cannot have friends anymore in order to take care of the wife or husband,house,work and children.Marriage ruins a woman's life,it's good only for men because he will have housemaid and a sexual slave and can even have fun outside the marriage if you know what I mean.Men aren't able to stay with an only woman for a long time,women are able but men will end up cheating.Children ruins your body and they are very expensive because of school,clothes and many other things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyInside
I only believe in mothers' love and God's love,others types of love just don't exist in my opinion.

It doesn't matter how hard you try to make a marriage work,it never works.Everyone that marry always end up getting a divorce.

Women want money,men want beautiful women.

Marriage is a prison.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. Personally, I celebrate differences. I may not always agree with them (just as I don't agree with your point-of-view), but I think it's wonderful that we aren't all exactly the same. Life would be rather boring, if that were the case. I like to have friends who have similar interests... but I don't expect them to be exactly like me, with exactly the same values and exactly the same lifestyle.

I'm also sorry that you feel that way about marriage. I have met hundreds of people who have been happily married for 20, 30, 40, even 50 years. The husband loves the wife, the wife loves the husband, the parents love the children, and the children love the parents. Not all husbands cheat, and not all women are sexual slaves. A little over half of all marriages end in divorce... but the other half do not. Marriage can ruin a life, but it can also greatly enrich a life... just as a friendship can either ruin or enrich a life. It would certainly not be accurate to say that ALL marriages are unhappy and end in divorce.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. =) I won't respond to your thread anymore, since it seems my advice is not useful or applicable to your current situation... but I wish you the very best of luck, in all that you do!






Last edited by PSY; May 2nd 2010 at 09:42 PM. Reason: Additional quote.
   
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May 2nd 2010, 09:38 PM

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Originally Posted by Union Of V View Post
(and gays aren't all effeminate - in fact I don't personally know a single effeminate gay myself).
I never said that all gays are effeminate.I said that I can only be friends with males who are very effeminate gays.If the male is gay but is not effeminate I won't be friends with him.

I know many effeminate gay males.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post


I'm also sorry that you feel that way about marriage. I have met hundreds of people who have been happily married for 20, 30, 40, even 50 years. The husband loves the wife, the wife loves the husband, the parents love the children, and the children love the parents. Not all husbands cheat, and not all women are sexual slaves. A little over half of all marriages end in divorce... but the other half do not. Marriage can ruin a life, but it can also great enrich a life... just as a friendship can either ruin or enrich a life.


How can you know that these people relationships are all so full of love if you don't live with them?When at home it's one thing,when outside home it's another thing.
Most cheatings will never be discovered.

MANY MANY MANY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANY marriages end in divorce.Actually,MOST marriages end in divorce.

Marriage have never enriched anyone's life and never will.

Quote:
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I'm also sorry that you feel that way about marriage. I have met hundreds of people who have been happily married for 20, 30, 40, even 50 years.



It must be soooooooooooooooooo f***ing boring to be with the same person for 20,30,40 or 50 years.

I would die of boredom!!!

Men are naturally cheaters.

Last edited by PSY; May 3rd 2010 at 12:33 AM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
   
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May 3rd 2010, 02:03 AM

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Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
....
I have never seen a male who wasn't aggressive or rude.Masculine nature is aggressive.
There are times when I have been aggressive, only when I am angry. Which is natural for everyone. But I am not aggressive in nature. I am more of a simple person. Many men are like this because they have been brought up this way or perhaps they just think that. But you still haven't seen me, and I am not aggressive by nature.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
I never said that all gays are effeminate.I said that I can only be friends with males who are very effeminate gays.If the male is gay but is not effeminate I won't be friends with him.

I know many effeminate gay males.



How can you know that these people relationships are all so full of love if you don't live with them?When at home it's one thing,when outside home it's another thing.
Most cheatings will never be discovered.

MANY MANY MANY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANY marriages end in divorce.Actually,MOST marriages end in divorce.

Marriage have never enriched anyone's life and never will.
It must be soooooooooooooooooo f***ing boring to be with the same person for 20,30,40 or 50 years.

I would die of boredom!!!

Men are naturally cheaters.
Its not easy to turn away from temptation. But LOVE is something different. If you love someone it will never end. It is so strong, it is even undefinable. It can only be shown in actions. If you love someone you would never die of boredom.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
I only believe in mothers' love and God's love,others types of love just don't exist in my opinion.
What is the problem in remain single forever? There are many people out there who never marry,aren't there? This is not a feminist thing!!

It doesn't matter how hard you try to make a marriage work,it never works.Everyone that marry always end up getting a divorce.

Women want money,men want beautiful women.

Marriage is a prison.I enjoy freedom.

All that I'm saying here are not feminist stuff,it's just facts.We are always seeing couples getting divorces all the time,couples cheating,couples in unhappy marriages,couples complaning endlessly about their marriages,couples complaining about their sexual life and the list goes on...
When and if God is willing, He gives His people someone to marry. Someone to be with. God doesn't want someone to just stay alone and never marry, unless it is for the sake of the Kingdom of God. But even in that we are naturally emotional. Emotions are our core, they are what make us humans. Unfortunately many people choose the wrong way. And you are correct, about couples getting divorced. Because many of them experienced a long infatuation and others because they became lost in unfaithfulness.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by PSY; May 3rd 2010 at 04:36 AM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 3rd 2010, 02:31 PM

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How can you know that these people relationships are all so full of love if you don't live with them?When at home it's one thing,when outside home it's another thing.
Most cheatings will never be discovered.

MANY MANY MANY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANY marriages end in divorce.Actually,MOST marriages end in divorce.

Marriage have never enriched anyone's life and never will.

It must be soooooooooooooooooo f***ing boring to be with the same person for 20,30,40 or 50 years.
You're looking at the negatives and rejecting the positives here. I've spent plenty of time with recently married couples and there hasn't been a hint of infidelity - all the marriage has done is strengthened their love for each other. I'd like to see you tell a pair of people who have just found their partner for life that their life hasn't been changed for the better). You can't consider marriage as an entity separate from love, that's the trap many fall into; marriage is merely a way of expressing a couple's mutual love. It doesn't encapsulate the socially acceptable roles of Husband and Wife - you can be married without being a stereotypical couple.

I'll try to explain the difference between cordial and passionate love. You may love (I'll replace that for clarity) like your friends because you enjoy their company, you share interests or you like the relationship between you. However love runs deeper - you love a person because of the overall impression they make on you. It's a more abstract thing, but because of this it's more permanent. As time goes on, friends drift away (I'm only 18 and I'm already onto my 4th batch of "close" friends) - their personalities change, they pick up new interests, and people eventually loose touch with each other. But the essence, that which you love in a person will always be there no matter what they do or how they change. It's a more lasting thing.

Sure, people are hasty, their tastes change (never got this one), they fall in love with their idea of a person, they marry for the wrong reasons, they make mistakes; it's part of human nature, and it's not going to change anytime soon (although saying "most" marriages end in divorce is like saying that most car journeys end with an accident). But if you make the leap and choose to marry someone it's far more likely that you keep them with you through your life than you'll keep any of your friends as close to you 20-odd years into the future.

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Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
Men are naturally cheaters.
This is exactly the feminist bull I was talking about! Romance is a lot more complicated than it's made out to be - when men cheat it's either a personality flaw or at least partly the woman's fault.
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 3rd 2010, 03:14 PM

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Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
Men are naturally cheaters.
Now what you are saying there is extremely wrong. You must not know guys that well.

And i dont think you ever answered Psy's question. Would you change your personality for your friend and not make her change her personality?
   
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Re: Gender problems with my female friend.Help!! - May 5th 2010, 09:43 AM

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Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
So for us when you say that requesting her to chage her personality just to remain friends with her is unreasonable,looks like you think that friendship is somethig that you can throw away so easily because it's not an important thing,one will have many friends in life,don't you think?
What I think is that you are quite rude because I am attempting to help you but for my efforts, I get attacked. Remember what this thread is about, it's about your friend and you, nothing to do with me so don't make it about me.

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Originally Posted by LazyInside View Post
She thinks that she is always the correct one and she is always right.
I forgot to mention that she is very bossy too.
You seem to be displaying these exact traits on here, such as when you call all males cheaters and accuse all males of being aggressive and rude. You seem to have a mindset that how your friend acts is inappropriate because it is not feminine enough. If you want her to change, then perhaps you yourself can show some change as well because getting her to change her personality while you continue to belittle her and her personality is not going to work very well.

[quote=LazyInside] What is the problem in remain single forever? There are many people out there who never marry,aren't there? This is not a feminist thing!!

It doesn't matter how hard you try to make a marriage work,it never works.Everyone that marry always end up getting a divorce.

Women want money,men want beautiful women.

Marriage is a prison.I enjoy freedom.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyInside
All that I'm saying here are not feminist stuff,it's just facts.We are always seeing couples getting divorces all the time,couples cheating,couples in unhappy marriages,couples complaning endlessly about their marriages,couples complaining about their sexual life and the list goes on...
You've got to be kidding, right? None of what you are saying is feminist? I suppose that when you say marriage is beneficial only for the husband because he has a sex slave and so forth, none of that according to you would be feminist? If your friend doesn't share this same strong feminist viewpoint that you do but you still want her to make the relationship work, then it's time for you to begin changing yourself as well.

Not all marriages or relationships end badly, some do but not all. You're focusing on all the negatives here and continuously rejecting all the positives.
   
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