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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Exclamation Are we ever going to get on? - May 8th 2010, 02:12 PM

Me and my mum have always argued , but recently, its gotten to a point where i will most likely end up crying after talking to my mum. We've always aruged about me being lazy, fat, and overall that my clean habbits are non-existant most of the time. But she makes it seem like i have some mental problem, and that i will never be able to look after myself. I've been to my school councillor about the whole situation and we got it sorted out between me and my mum, for about a day, before it all goes back to step one. I've even got my aunt and my cousin to talk to her about it, as she always listens to them. But like always, she never seems to take on board what the hell is happening. I even told my aunt that i've been close to commiting suicide over it, and everyday im pretty much thinking " what is the point of me living if im always going to be a burdon on her, and i can never make her happy." Im sure she even knows this. I just really don't know what to do anymore cause nothing seems to work. Advice pleasee someone?
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Re: Are we ever going to get on? - May 10th 2010, 11:47 PM

Hey there. First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you've been contemplating suicide. =( If you ever want to talk privately, you're welcomed to message me. <3 You shouldn't have to go through this on your own.

Secondly, I think you need to take a step back (emotionally), and try to find a "pattern" in your arguing. What tends to trigger your arguments? The first step is to find a way to prevent some or most of these arguments from happening in the first place. After that, analyze what happens during the arguments. What words or specific behaviors seem to "trigger" your mother? What words or specific behaviors seem to "trigger" you? Make a list of all these things. Finally, talk to your mother - CALMLY - about how each of you can improve upon your communication, and find healthier ways to express yourselves. Use "I" phrases vs. "you" phrases (ex. "I feel threatened and begin to cry" vs. "You yell at me so much that I cry"). Be respectful of her viewpoints, and hopefully she will return the favor.

Good luck! <3

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Re: Are we ever going to get on? - May 13th 2010, 05:30 AM

Try out what PSY said.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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Re: Are we ever going to get on? - May 22nd 2010, 01:21 PM

Thank you so much Psy I'm going to try out your advice and i really do hope it works
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Re: Are we ever going to get on? - May 23rd 2010, 05:42 AM

I'm really sorry about whats going on, because sometimes its about the same way for me.
I tell lots of people this, because its smart. DONT WORRY. GO TO A CATHOLIC PRIEST.
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