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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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DrowningStar Offline
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Are they really my friends? - May 20th 2010, 01:16 AM

I have three friends that i usually hang out with;we have our differences and our similarities. (mostly differences tbqh) I'm the type of person that's interested in piercings, tattoos and such and every now and again, I would Joke about getting snakebites when im older.
They would automatically get me mad by saying "oh piercings are ugly" "i'm going to stop hanging around with you" "you'll look like a freak" etc.
I'm a girl that believes that friends should be people that respect your choices and opinions, but i don't believe that they any of that.
Are they really my friends?
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Re: Are they really my friends? - May 20th 2010, 01:46 AM

Hi Khaila,

You're absolutely right - your friends should always respect your opinions and should like you for who you really are. It sounds like your friends haven't been doing this, so I can understand why you would be a bit unsure about your friendship with them.

I think that you need to talk to your friends about their respect for you, and make it clear to them that some of the things they say are offensive, and that you don't appreciate them being disrespectful to you. They need to understand that they need to treat you kindly, or they won't remain your friends.

After you let them know that their comments hurt you, you might want to reconsider the friendships if they continue to be offensive. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that they aren't your friends right away, because they might not know they are hurting your feelings. Make them aware, and then you'll know if they really deserve to be considered friends.





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Re: Are they really my friends? - May 20th 2010, 10:31 AM

Yea you are right that friends should respect your opinions, but I notice you are 13, and I really don't think a thoughtless comment like this at that age should really affect your friendship. Let them know you don't like them saying that sort of stuff though, i know when I was 13, I got in huge fights with friends over little comments like that, and it just wrecked my entire year. Just tell them that you don't appreciate comments like that, but at the end of the day, you are all 13 (i assume) and shouldnt let things like this get in the way.
They are most likely just joking with you, but you have to try and think of why they would say that. For example I am against people having boyfriends at 11 years old, some of my friends did, and sometimes I would comment, saying stuff like "Its so stupid to have boyfriends at 11" and yea I should respect that they enjoy that, but hey, they got over it, we're still young...and try not to let those sorts of comments get to you.
   
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Re: Are they really my friends? - May 22nd 2010, 03:59 AM

i know wat you mean.....my "friends" dont do shit for me. actually scratch that they do ditch me on the weekends and leave me sitting on my ass at home to get yelled at by my parents because im a terrible kid and not as good as my sister is
   
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Re: Are they really my friends? - May 22nd 2010, 07:01 PM

Thanks guys, i'll be sure to try and talk to my friends about it


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Danzy Offline
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Re: Are they really my friends? - May 27th 2010, 12:39 AM

I think u shud try talkin to them about it and if they cant accept what u like and see u for who u are then realli they weren't friends to begin with.. Try explaining to them first thou


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