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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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kiwiokee Offline
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Name: Kelsey.
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: wherever my heart takes me.

Posts: 22
Join Date: April 25th 2009

Some friends they are. - May 28th 2010, 10:02 PM

Well, this isn't the first time I've had all my friends turn against me. I'm absent two days and I'm instantly worried all my friends are pissed at me because of past experiences. But, I've been sick. And my 'best friends' and I have been friends all year. I thought we were okay.
Well, so I missed two days of school. And Ashley decided that my friends should 'rebel' against me. She's so two-faced. Whenever Jenna and I fight, she's on 'both' of our sides but talks bad about the other to the other person. But, yeah, she got this idea going. We have a group journal, and they ripped out all my pages. I kind of ramble about my boy problems in there, and I kind of thought of it as my own personal journal. I opened up to them. And they ripped out all of the pages I wrote. And Monica sometimes buys me lunch, and Ashley doesn't let her buy me anything anymore. Because they're 'rebelling' against me. All my friends are part of it.
I found this out from Monica and Christina when they got home from school. Christina told me to ask Monica. Monica said she took it as a joke, and it was all a joke. And they did it to get me mad. And it worked. I've been crying, because this is just all a repeat of my past. All my friends dumping me.
I'm talking to her as we speak, and I'm letting her know this whole thing kind of made me mad. But I feel like if I tell them my feelings, it'll only make them think I 'overreact' like they always say I do. I'm the one in the group that speaks their mind and now I don't know what to say anymore.
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PSY Offline
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Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,018
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Re: Some friends they are. - June 1st 2010, 02:02 AM

Hello, Kelsey. Regardless of what you may or may not have done in the past, I think ripping out your pages in a group journal is quite cruel. You put your heart and soul into those entries... and they've demonstrated that your feelings are not important to them. I think it's time to take the higher road by leaving this group of so-called "friends", and meeting people who will like you for who you are.

Personally, I don't believe you should care about what these girls think (since they obvious don't care about what YOU think, unless it's their goal to upset/anger you)... but if you really want to make a statement, cease all contact with them. You're usually the person who "overreacts" and speaks her mind, right? Well, this time, DON'T overreact, and don't tell them what you think. Your silence should say it all. That doesn't mean giving them the cold shoulder or talking about them behind their backs... that's childish, and will only bring you down to their level. But go for a week (then two weeks, then a month, etc.) without talking to them, and essentially try to move on. If one of them makes the effort to get in touch with you, you can calmly state that they have not been true friends, and that it's time for you to look elsewhere for what you need. There's no need to say why, because they know EXACTLY what they've done wrong.

It's not going to be easy at first... but take advantage of this summer break and try something new! Join a local sports team or club, volunteer with an organization, ask your parents if you could go on a family vacation, etc. Grow as an individual, and when you come back to school in the fall, you'll be able to try even more new things with a greater level of confidence. =D

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