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both my parents are dependent on me - June 30th 2010, 05:57 PM

I'm 18, and one of my parents is an alcoholic (mom) and the other has severe emotional issues and has kidney failure (dad).
Like I said, I'm 18, and I want to move into my grandmas house (which is an hour and half away from where my parents live). My 10 year old brother and I been staying with my grandma for the past week, but while we've been here, my dad has been texting and calling me complaining about how crazy my mom has been acting at the house. My mom has been an alcoholic for the past 5 years, and it is not getting better at all. My dad already told me that he doesn't want me to talk to her while she is sober because she will just get mad at him in the future. I know that the only person that can help my mom to stop drinking is her.
I told my dad I wanted to move out a couple of days ago, but he didn't like the idea and told me that him and my little brother would have to live with my alcoholic mom and nobody would witness the harm she was doing. I talked to him again this morning and he told me to just do what's best for myself and not to worry about him and my mom's problems. It's hard not to worry since they are both literally messed up.
So if I move out, then I will actually have a life with friends, but if I stay living with my parents then I will be with them and they will be safe, however I won't have a life since I don't have any friends in the city they live in. Help.....please.
   
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Re: both my parents are dependent on me - June 30th 2010, 06:21 PM

Depending on the laws of your state/country, you could have your mom forcibly placed into treatment for her alcoholism. Why not call the police and ask them what you can do about your mother? The bottom-line is that you, your father, and your brother are all suffering emotionally as a result of your mother's alcoholism... and it needs to stop. I'm all for your moving out of the house, since that would be best for your emotional health; however, there are things you and your family members can try in the meantime.





   
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Re: both my parents are dependent on me - July 1st 2010, 04:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ac2 View Post
I'm 18, and one of my parents is an alcoholic (mom) and the other has severe emotional issues and has kidney failure (dad).
Like I said, I'm 18, and I want to move into my grandmas house (which is an hour and half away from where my parents live). My 10 year old brother and I been staying with my grandma for the past week, but while we've been here, my dad has been texting and calling me complaining about how crazy my mom has been acting at the house. My mom has been an alcoholic for the past 5 years, and it is not getting better at all. My dad already told me that he doesn't want me to talk to her while she is sober because she will just get mad at him in the future. I know that the only person that can help my mom to stop drinking is her.
I told my dad I wanted to move out a couple of days ago, but he didn't like the idea and told me that him and my little brother would have to live with my alcoholic mom and nobody would witness the harm she was doing. I talked to him again this morning and he told me to just do what's best for myself and not to worry about him and my mom's problems. It's hard not to worry since they are both literally messed up.
So if I move out, then I will actually have a life with friends, but if I stay living with my parents then I will be with them and they will be safe, however I won't have a life since I don't have any friends in the city they live in. Help.....please.
This is truly a testing matter, even if you go through with the state laws, the main thing that will still be around in your heart is the decision as to whether to be there for your mother and father or to go and live your life. This is a very hard one. But it is only you who can make the right decision as you know yourself better than we do. Think about it and discuss it also with your parents. Even though they have these problems they are not beyond the boundary of a sensible compromise that will have a positive consequence on all of you involved.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; July 1st 2010 at 04:57 AM. Reason: Addition
   
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