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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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soccerchick16 Offline
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Visiting a friend - July 28th 2010, 11:08 PM

So next Tuesday, I have to go to a student council meeting from 10 till 2, I get to walk there cuz it's nearby and walk back home. I really want to see my friend who lives nearby there. I haven't seen him all summer and he's hone cuz he's resting from his adenoid surgery so he really doesn't go anywhere till he's recovered however his mom wouldn't mind letting me come over. The thing is my mom doesn't allow hanging out with guys. I've gone over to his house with my bike multiple times and was home by the time I told my mom I'd be back from riding my bike. I just wanted to tell my mom after the meeting that it'd be running a little late so I'd be home by 3 and I'd be able to go see my friend for an hour before safely arriving home. Whether or not it'll work I'm not sure, and I hope it will. I just want to see him once before school starts and an opportunity has risen, I really want to take it. Any feedback?
   
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Re: Visiting a friend - July 29th 2010, 02:03 AM

I'm going to be honest with you: this is something you could probably get away with. I told similar half-truths when I was in high school, because my mom didn't like me hanging out with ANYONE unsupervised. However, if you were to get caught... well, I'm certain earning your mom's trust back would be a very difficult thing to do. You may end up on an even tighter leash than you already are - no hanging out with male OR female friends, for example.

Have you ever tried compromising with your mom? When I was dating in high school, I asked my boyfriend's mom to meet my mom. After the two of them got to know one another better, my mom didn't have any objections to visiting my boyfriend... so long as his mom was in the house and the bedroom door was never closed.

Now, I know it seems like a pain in the butt. I hated feeling like I was 8 years old again. I wanted some privacy! But my mom didn't make that rule in order to spite me... she made that rule because she wanted to protect me. She knew my boyfriend, and she knew me... but with our raging hormones, she didn't trust us to behave ourselves. I probably could have avoided the hassle of introducing our moms to one another and just omitted the truth about where I was, who I was with, etc... but if I had been discovered, the consequences would have been devastating.

I'm not trying to lecture you... I'm just answering your question by showing you the pros and cons of misleading your mom. What you decide to do is totally up to you... but think about this first. If you're going to go through with it, you'd better not get caught! If you decide to try and compromise, at least now you'll have one tactic you can use on your mom. =)





   
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Re: Visiting a friend - July 29th 2010, 11:19 PM

It may be worth the risk ... just be careful not to spend too much time there I suppose. Make it a believable amount of time, like half an hour or something. Or maybe try and get out of your appointment early?

Why is your mum so strict? Can't you tell her your friend appreciates visitors? Or maybe your mum could go round with you to meet him. That way she's knows you're ... behaving I suppose. And she'll get to know him and hopefully trust him a bit too.

Maybe you also need to talk to your mum and ask why she's so strict with who your friends are.




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