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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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TigerTank77 Offline
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Girlfriend's mother is a monster. - August 3rd 2010, 08:28 PM

I wasn't exactly sure where to put this, because it's a multiple front issue, so... here we go.

I love my girlfriend to death, and I really don't know what to do about her mother.

She is... a monster. She's an alcoholic, pill popping bitch. And she's been this way for years.

She's emotionally abusive, irrational, and a two faced liar. When I'm there she tries to act nice, but as soon as I leave, the dragon come back out.

There's so much to it that's like, too much for me to explain.

She takes every cent my gf ever makes or gets. She tells her to get a job, then wont give her a ride to any interviews.

And there's nothing my gf can do about it either. Social Services wont touch her because she turns 18 in November, so it's not worth their time. I would take her in, but we only see each other a few times a month cause we live 180 miles apart. And she doesn't want to be too far away from her friends.

Her friend's parents have offered to take her in, but without a car or a job there's no point, because her mother will completely cut her off.

And her dad... ugh. he tries to help when she's not around, but as soon as she is, he does nothing. He goes and hides and agrees with her every time she looses her shit.

I really don't know what the hell to do. And I feel completely helpless about it.



Often I lie wide awake, thinking of things I could make.
But I donít seem to have the parts to build them.
I am so scared of what will kill me in the end, for I am not prepared.
I hope I will get the chance to be someone, to be human.





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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Girlfriend's mother is a monster. - August 4th 2010, 12:11 AM

Sounds like the dad tries to help but he must know about the moms ways..
I personally think that your girlfriend should try to get out of that house with her mother. I know your girlfriend doesn't have a job.. but maybe YOU could take her to places to apply for jobs? I'd even suggest taking her to the interviews.

Again on the dad part -- sounds like he is afraid of the mother. I'd almost suggest family consuling [sp?]
Maybe then the person would be able to understand and find ways for the dad to not fear the mom and get the mom HELP.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Girlfriend's mother is a monster. - August 4th 2010, 12:46 AM

I'd take her if I didn't live 180 miles west of her. Hell, I'd take her to work and school if I could.

She's just so miserable when she's home. I hate to see her like this.


Often I lie wide awake, thinking of things I could make.
But I donít seem to have the parts to build them.
I am so scared of what will kill me in the end, for I am not prepared.
I hope I will get the chance to be someone, to be human.





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Re: Girlfriend's mother is a monster. - August 4th 2010, 03:18 AM

Then why doesn't she move in with her friend. You mentioned that she could do that. So why not do that and once she's settled she can start looking for a job, school or whichever she would like to get ?

According to what you say, she has 3 choices :

1.) Move in with you
2.) Move in with friend
3.) Stay with mom.

Each of these has an advantage and disadvantage. It seems whichever one she makes, she will have to sacrifice something.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; August 4th 2010 at 03:20 AM. Reason: Addition
   
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Re: Girlfriend's mother is a monster. - August 5th 2010, 01:34 AM

CPS won't touch her because she's almost 18... but there ARE services available to adults. If your girlfriend moves out and lives with a friend's family, she can still get in touch with organizations that offer financial support and other resources to unemployed adults. She can take out a loan when she turns 18, and use that money to access public transportation or purchase a cheap means of transportation, like a bicycle. She can temporarily stay with you, if there are better job opportunities in your area.

I think it's great that you're supporting her during this difficult time. Keep doing that... but ultimately, she needs to be pro-active and find a solution. Yes, she's limited on what she can do... but she is by no means completely out of luck. =)





   
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