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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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dancinfool Offline
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dad getting remarried - September 28th 2010, 10:17 PM

So my dad is getting remarried next summer.. he told me and my reaction was basically like 'oh'. I probably should have said congratulations. owel.
I don't know what to feel about it- yeah I'm happy for him but it's gonna cause a lot of stress for my mum. They haven't actually divorced yet (they've been separated for about 4 years), and my mum doesn't want anything to do with his new partner, which is understandable given my dad cheated on my mum with her. Obviously I'm gonna go to the wedding but I don't know what my mum will be doing- she won't want to come and its generally pretty awkward! I also really hope they can get through the divorce without taking it to court or anything =/
This post is generally pretty pointless :P just wanted to TELL someone as the bf is away and also wondered how other people in this situation coped.
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Re: dad getting remarried - October 6th 2010, 08:45 PM

Hey there! First of all, I'm sorry it took so long for you to receive a reply to your thread! D= It seems many of TeenHelp's members are busy with school around this time of year. If you ever feel like talking about this again (and you don't want to bother your boyfriend), you are welcomed to PM me. =)

My parents separated when I was 13, divorced when I was 15. My dad began dating someone immediately after the divorce, which lasted for about eight months. He then started dating another person a month later, proposed to her after four months, and married her in another four months' time. My reaction was pretty much the same as your reaction: "oh". I was 16 and living with my mom at the time. I wasn't too thrilled about his hasty decision to get married, and I felt like I was being "replaced", in a sense. He's now in the process of divorcing my stepmother, and is (of course) already dating someone else.

I don't believe you have to worry about your mother attending your father's re-marriage. No one really expects the ex-spouse to come... it would be incredibly awkward if they DID! Unfortunately, your parents probably will have to go to court. It's rare for two people to agree on absolutely everything (ex. who gets the house, car, spousal support). They'll both need to hire attorneys for drafting the documents, and I believe they WILL have to go to court at least once, even if it's just to ensure that both of your parents are being properly represented by the attorneys they have hired.

I wish you all the best. <3 This isn't going to be easy, but I know you can and WILL get through this. =)

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Re: dad getting remarried - October 6th 2010, 09:03 PM

A parents re-marrying can be a bit awkward for a few members of the family, but you've got to think, if it makes them happy then it's okay. I think it's nice of your to be okay about it, and maybe sometime you could tell your father how happy you are for him and his bride-to-be.

As for your mother, it's okay that she doesn't want to go to the wedding, she shouldn't be expected to. It's going to be a hard time for her, so you'll just have to try and support her as best as you can, and let her know that you'll always be there for her, and she'll always be your mum.

They might have to go to court, it's how most divorces are settled these days, but I'm sure they will make it through it. As long as you're caring and supportive when things go a bit downhill, things might be a little easier for everyone.

Feel free to talk to any of us again, or message me privately if you feel like talking again. Take care.

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