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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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IH8U2 Offline
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I wanna move out... - October 6th 2010, 06:05 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't exactly know where to post this thread, but I figured I can post it here because it deals with family. I also wanna apologize for making this long...

I love my mom very much and always will, but I think I'm at a point where I would feel a lot happier if I had my own personal space and freedom. I just wanna change my life. I don't like my dad. There's a lot of reasons I don't like him, but this is not the thread to go into detail (You can check my past threads with extremely angry rants about him).

The problem is my mom doesn't want me to move out. The reason my parents bought this house in the first place is to eventually give it to me or my sisters. My parents are also in huge debt right now because of my dad's gambling. I give my mom $150 (give or take) every pay check to help with the bills and that isn't a lot. My oldest sister works at a much more professional job than I do, so she provides a lot more money. My other older sister also works at a much more professional job, but she's in school, so she can't provide money.

My mom and my family in general can be under a lot of stress, and it's not only from the financial problems. My mom works as a janitor, which from what she tells me, can be very frustrating. Not only that, she has to wake up very early to make coffee for my dad, get things ready, etc. Then after a hard day at work, she still has to do work at home. She also has to deal with the personalities of the family, which can collide at any moment... Not to mention, if I leave, my dad probably will fucking scream with extreme rage at everyone in the family, giving my mom and everybody else a lot more stress.

Would it be bad if I just abandon my mom and family while they're in this position?

My mom would also be very worried about me. I have no experience living on my own. I work a $10 per hour job and can't even take care of myself.

Is it possible to to quit my job to get my life together, get a loan (like maybe $5000) to rent a place and buy the things I need, get another job to pay off the loan, and possibly return the rest of the loan I didn't use?

I think somebody told me about a town house that costs like $900 an month and you don't have to pay for heating. You also get your own washing machine, dryer, fridge, etc. I also wanna continue providing money to my mom, maybe even more money than I'm providing now.

Do you think I can pull all this off?

Last edited by IH8U2; October 6th 2010 at 12:19 PM.
   
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taylalatbh. Offline
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Re: I wanna move out... - October 6th 2010, 02:26 PM

I feel like it's important that you can fully support yourself financially before you leave home. There's no point moving out, and struggling for money and being in a worse off situation than you were in before. I know it's difficult to think about leaving your family when they're in an unhappy state, but you can't let that hold you back, especially when you're not happy with how you're living. I would advise that you try to save up as much money as you can, and get yourself a well paying job. And then you could think about finding a place of your own.

As for your parents problems, there's not really much you can do. They need to work it out for themselves, as their child, you can't really do much to fix things for them. You can try your hardest to improve things in your household, though. Hold family meetings and discuss how things are working within your house at the moment, and how you think things could be improved. You could all agree on things and then put it into action.

There's not too much that you can do for your family, but you can urge everyone to help themselves to fix the whole situation. Try and build a good foundation for yourself with good finances before you try to make it on your own.

Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk some more, take care.



   
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