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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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cupcakexlove Offline
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Exclamation I'm confused about my family..? - October 15th 2010, 01:32 AM

Usually, I see myself as a well rounded person, a critical thinker that can look from all angles and perspectives and generally understand everyones' point of view, including that opposing to mine.

But when it comes to my mom and dad that all goes out the window. Everytime I attempt to speak to them in a civil manner they somehow take anything I say and turn it into an insult or something to blow up over. I honestly feel like I have done nothing wrong almost 99% of the time. All they do is yell at me, bring me down, and constantly undermine me and my confidence. They say I am fat, dumb, and that I create all problems in my house hold.

I am not overweight, and I love my body. I have an 85% average. My sister agrees with me that all they do is blow up. But I always get the blunt of their anger. What if it really is me making them angry or upset? Maybe me being rational is just in my head and I can't see that I'm making them angry?

But at the same time I feel this can't be true. They yell all the time and my dad tries to pick something to fight about. I'm not dumb, I read people well, but honestly how do I speak and have a great connection with my parents if all they do is insult me and hurt me? My dad physically struck me 3 times, and he said it wasn't assault, I was just over-exaggerating, and my mother aggress. I had bruises. Should I even bother to continue to have a relationship with them if they don't see to simple communication without yelling and violence?

Please someone help me with this; anyone put their input. I cry almost everyday, and Im 17. I have this heavy chip on my shoulder where, because of them, I can't let people close to me.

Please help, anyone.
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Re: I'm confused about my family..? - October 16th 2010, 03:33 AM

I can relate to that. *hugs* im so sorry you go through that /:. Its hell.

Obviously talking goes no where with them.. Try writing out everything in a letter.. place it somewhere like on their pillow or somthing, and expalin everything. How bad it hurts, how hurt and betrayed you feel, the abuse (not only the physical, but emotional and quite frankly neglect, because from what it seems in this post, they seem to be neglecting you the love that each child expects out of their parents.)

I used to be in a group counseling facility, and somthing one of the staff said there really stuck in my head... "Parents have expectations for their kids, but theparents dont always live up to the kids expectations." meaning, to love and care, to understand, to be there, etc....

I find that to be true 99% of the time. Theres always that communication issue between kids (teens, a lot of the time) and their parents..

It sucks. it really does. All you can do is try to get them to understand. If they're as stubburn as my dad is, maybe it wont do anything. But you can know you gave it your all, and the balls in their court. None of this is your fault. If they finally find it within themselves to try and regain a relationship with their daughter, then its up to them. There comes a point where you cant let it ruin your life. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. Dont let them ruin it.

Im sure everything will be okay, and im always here if you need advice, or need to vent <3


"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." <3

Feel free to PM/VM me if you ever need someone to talk to, or just want someone to listen. I'm also always up for making new friends.
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Re: I'm confused about my family..? - October 18th 2010, 01:17 AM

Thank you so much for the great advice. It means a lot and it helped me to realize that they have disappointed me and I'm not the one to blame.

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