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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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My girlfriends mother is tormenting her. Advice? - November 22nd 2010, 02:19 PM

Hello, my girlfriend of three years now is having some extreme problems with her mother.

she's a senior in high school, and I've never seen a parent this controlling or hypocritcial. Her mother is trying to get her to go to collage and further her daughter's life. My girlfriend agrees and actually wants to become a choir instructor, and to do so, she needs education and music degrees. However, her mother will not pay for an ACT or SAT, partially because they are fairly poor, but her mom will be more than happy to spend 40 dollars on halloween decorations.

However. My girlfriend has no job. To apply for jobs she usually walks on foot. Her mom offers to drive her to some jobs to apply, but since she has no car, nor will she be given one, nor will she be given rides to her new job if she gets one, one that is out of walking reach isn't much of an option.

She is a very good student. Studies always come first, and she works hard to earn the B's and C's that she does. However, when her grade drops a little too low, usually because her mom volunteered her for something completely against her will and without her knowing during her study time.

Then, now knowing the above, her mother will randomly freak out at her for seemingly no reason. For instance, She was trying to dye her hair, which she has done several times before without parents caring at all, but when the dye didn't go as well as she had thought, and washed it out before it dyed too much, her mother began to scream at her for an hour on a completely tangent subject, and revoked her phone and her SCHOOL laptop, which she was using for homework.

Finally, last but not least. Her mother on purposely pushes her buttons for no reason. My girlfriend accepts all people reguardless of color, sexuality, or mental abilities. So, she became upset and politely asked her mother to stop when her mother used the R word several times repeatedly. Her mother than began to harass her and had the rest of her family join in harassing her about the R word, and pulled a cruel joke on her, which she still wont tell me because it upsets her.

It really hurts me to see her this sad, and she wants to get out of her situation... but I don't know what she can or will do, she doesn't become a non-minor until June, and she is crying and upset and depressed now.

Please, is there any help or advice you can give to her? Or have me tell her?
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Re: My girlfriends mother is tormenting her. Advice? - November 22nd 2010, 03:18 PM

Gosh , now without sounding rude , I think her mother may need help of some sort , a councellor or something to figure out WHY she acts this way.

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Re: My girlfriends mother is tormenting her. Advice? - November 22nd 2010, 09:00 PM

If there is verbal abuse, it's going to be hard to get her mother in trouble. What she can do is talk to a school counselor and see if there is any way to get family counseling if need be. Try and have her at your house more, if that is possible. If your parents aren't aware of this situation, they should be notified, since another trusting adult might know what to do better that I would.

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