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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Good friends turned strangers (long) - December 14th 2010, 05:03 AM

So here is my story. This happened 2 years ago... I met a friend (girl), let's name her A, through one of my school teams. We were acquaintances from before but never really talked more than hi or bye and since it was a regular practise team, we got friendly. A and I used to spend our mornings at practise and soon we were friends and use to hang out.

Later in the year, I find out that my friend "B" likes A and wants to try and see if anything can be pursued with A. Since I was friends with her, he asked me if I can do anything. Anyway, long story short, we all started hanging out and whatnot after school and during lunches. B finally decided to ask A out and she said "no, cause I don't like anyone right now..". So I tried to help him out by talking to him and having a friendly shoulder, if need be. Nothing changed after the fact, but later, she said yes to going to prom with him.

Anyway at the end of the year, she finally said yes to him (his 2nd attempt) and everyone at school knew he liked her too. Now it's summer break and so we hang out less since we all have work/school. Later on, she comes to me and says it's not working out between them and that she doesn't want it to continue. I say, it's your own decision since I think he would be really hurt if you didn't give him a chance (it had only been about 5 weeks since they started dating). She said, no, and said that she'll break it off soon and I told her again that a lot of friendships would be destroyed by it.

Now it's September and both B and I are at college and A is taking a victory lap (senior year repeated). A and I lose touch over the past months and I kept calling her home (no cell) to no response. I got busy with school and B and I were talking a lot these days to cope with work. We used to study together too and had a bit of chemistry. My birthday was coming up and so I emailed everyone about details and rsvp's and I never got a response from her. She messages me two days before my birthday asking me what I want? I told her, "I thought you forgot about me" and she responded that she's just been busy. So she came to my birthday, note: her ex bf was present and it was sort-of awkward.

Later on, A and I hung out once around New Years and I asked her if she's seeing someone and she said yes and that it's sort-of serious. I was shocked since she moved on so fast. At the end, I told her to keep in touch and she said she will. At the same time, B and I got close over a New Years Bash we both attended.. Since B and I had gotten pretty close over the past few months, I decided to give it a shot and we started dating (very low-key). Fast-forward couple of months, I find out she deleted me off msn and blocked me as well.

Later I started hearing rumours about A saying that I had stolen B from her - untrue, since I was the one who had gotten them together in the first place. I decide to finally talk to her and send her an email and asked if she'd like to meet over coffee to talk. Her response was "this is weird but okay". So we met and talked about what had happened. She accused me of breaking boundaries and said that "you always hear of friendships being torn apart because of a guy". I asked her if she was telling people about "stealing B" and she said that when people came to her to ask her about B and I, she said "I don't know". I told her that she could at least tell people the rumours aren't true. I got so flustered that I told her, "listen, we were once good friends.." and at that, she didn't even acknowledge that friendship. After that, she mockingly said "I wish you and B well since I know you're good people" and I was angry so I said "You too". She got up and left.

To this day, it still hurts me that she never acknowledged the friendship.

Now my questions are:
Did I actually do anything wrong since:
a) A and I weren't friends at all when B and I got together
b) A didn't even acknowledge our friendship
or is she a manipulative person to make me feel bad?

I know about the "you don't date your friend's ex", but since we weren't friends when I started dating B, I don't see the problem. She had moved on about her relationship situation and so did B and I.

Long story, my bad, but it needed to be heard.


classy&fabulous

Last edited by vs-lover; December 14th 2010 at 05:06 AM. Reason: typo.
   
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vs-lover Offline
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Re: Good friends turned strangers (long) - December 15th 2010, 04:40 PM

does anyone have any opinions on this?


classy&fabulous
   
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