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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
blacklilac Offline
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how much is too much? - December 26th 2010, 03:20 PM

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i just need to know, how much is too much? my parents beat me as punishment, and i've always accepted it, but recently i'm beginning to fight back and lash out when they beat me, sometimes even going entirely crazy and fighting my mother for the cane/belt/whatever her weapon of choice is. most of the time the things they're beating me over are things that i'm obviously in the wrong for, except that i just don't think it warrants a beating or screaming.

i always preferred sitting down and having a good talk over being beaten, but whenever i try to tell that to my parents, they tell me that they had tried talking to me, but i never listen. this is in reference to my studying habits, for i had done horrendously for my exams, even though i studied really really hard. they find the most absurd reasons for my bad results, asking me if any of my friends were threatening me, or that i was possessed, or cursed.

my mother always had a violent temper, and even though my dad's usually quite calm, when he gets really angry he'd explode too. i really hate the beatings, and i just want it all to stop.

i'm already quite stressed for the new school year, because i really haven't caught up yet, and every time i tell my mother that i'd go ask my friends (about something that i can't understand) she'd tell me that they just want to see me fail so they'd have less competition. i've waited a long time to get friends, and it's really horrible to hear her talk about my friends like that.

i've recently become really violent, and sometimes i even fantasize about torturing my mother by beating her the various ways she has always beat me. when my mother gets angry, she gets really violent, and i really really hate being beaten. so nowadays i've begun to lash out in ways that frighten myself. just yesterday i attempted to bash my mother over the head with a bowl, and i just threatened my mother with a metal rod we use to keep the sliding doors closed, which she and my father managed to wrench away from me, and she promptly threatened to stick it through my face.

it's really horrible for a child to do this to their own parents, especially since beatings aside, my parents really treat me well. i'd even say that they quite spoiled me. what should i do? i know that suicide or running away won't do anything, and that would hurt my grandma so i'm definitely not doing any of those, but i just don't want to be beaten anymore. and if i called the police, it would be a huge embarassment.

i'm beginning to retreat into my own world, fantasizing about things deep in the future that would never happen anyway, so that i could forget. i really don't know.
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Re: how much is too much? - December 26th 2010, 03:39 PM

You definitly need to call the police. What your parents are doing isn't just morally wrong, it's illegal as well. Not only are they physically abusing you, they are mentally damaging you and that's not okay. Do not be embarresed, this is not your fault. Please, go to the police.
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Re: how much is too much? - December 26th 2010, 04:14 PM

Like the above poster said. You need to get the police. It's okay for them to smack your butt when you're a little baby, but you're old enough to be able to talk with them. They shouldn't be beating you. That's just wrong wrong wrong.
Call the police!

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Re: how much is too much? - December 26th 2010, 05:57 PM

If they are BEATING you; then you should call the police because NO ONE has that right.
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Re: how much is too much? - December 26th 2010, 06:34 PM

Absolutely no one ever has the right to hit or beat you; EVER. What your parents are doing to you is very wrong, and no matter what you've done, you don't deserve it.
The fact that you're starting to react in violence doesn't make you a terrible person at all; it just shows that your fears are coming out in the form of self defense and anger.
You should try talking to another adult about this, such as a school guidance counselor. If at any time it's gotten to the point where your parents beatings make you fear for your life/overall safety; do NOT hesitate to call the police.
Stay safe, and stay strong <3

We all need somebody to lean on <3
~I will survive, I will endure.
When the going's rough, you can be sure;
I'll tough it out, I won't give in. When I'm knocked down I'll get up again.
As long as my dream's alive, I Will Survive~
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