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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Ritz13 Offline
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My friend's abusive boyfriend - January 31st 2011, 09:08 PM

So, basically, my friend's been with this guy since last summer, he moved in on her street and they "clicked" over their love for drama. He gave her a promise ring a while back and she's totally sure she's in love. For the record, he's two years older than us.
Anyways, last month, she was with him and things were "heating up" so she says, and he wanted to go further but she refused so he smacked her and then she left. A few days later she confessed to missing him and showed up crying at his doorstep.
And then last weekend, they were watching a movie together and it had one of her favourite actors in it, so of course she was really into the movie. She said her boyfriend got all worked up about it and threw the popcorn bowl at her. Eventually she missed him too much and begged for him to come back to her.
Recently though, she's been acting different. She said that she slept over at his house a few weeks ago, I don't know what happened and she won't tell me. I've also noticed that she's really sensitive, she'll cry at the drop of a hat. It freaks me out. I don't know what to think, I mean, maybe he forced her into something, maybe she's pregnant, I don't know.
I would confront her but every time I've tried to in the past she just ignores me and tells me that her and Eric are as happy as ever. I'm really concerned for her, but I don't know what to do. Please help me.


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Re: My friend's abusive boyfriend - January 31st 2011, 09:54 PM

Has anyone else noticed this behavior? Perhaps you could get together as a group and ask her to talk about what's going on with Eric. If she's underage, you could tell her parents that you suspect Eric is abusing her. You've already heard about two instances of physical abuse, so it's not just pure speculation at this point. Finally, if you suspect your friend is in serious danger, contact the police. Unfortunately, you can't force your friend to talk to you or avoid Eric, but you can look out for her as best you can nonetheless. I wish you and your friend all the best. <3





   
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Re: My friend's abusive boyfriend - February 3rd 2011, 08:01 PM

I have no physical proof though, and no one else has seen it, so I won't be taken seriously.

In other news, she's pregnant. What am I going to do???????


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Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
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-Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day
   
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Re: My friend's abusive boyfriend - February 3rd 2011, 08:06 PM

I agree with Robin, you should ask her or talk to her parents, if she's in a dangerous situation then it is a good thing to do. There is probably something happening as you already said you know about to cases of domestic abuse; it needs to be stopped now because as i know from experience it can get worse and very dangerous for the victim, physically and psychologically.
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Re: My friend's abusive boyfriend - February 3rd 2011, 09:59 PM

The pregnancy is probably playing a huge role in her recent behavior. She could be scared of what her parents, boyfriend, or friends think. She could be defending her boyfriend because she wants to stay on good terms with the father of her child. It could also explain her frequent, unexpected crying (hormones plus the uncertainty in regards to her future and the future of her child).





   
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Re: My friend's abusive boyfriend - February 5th 2011, 03:23 AM

You need to talk to her parents about this. Bring her behavior and the peculiar ways she's been acting to their attention, and suggest what you think may be happening and that this guy is obviously no good for her. Find ways to keep him away from her, or her parents will if they are good parents.
If he physically abuses her or leaves marks on her, call the Police on him. She may never talk to you again, but at least it'll prevent him from hurting her again.
   
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