TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lola jonson Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
lola jonson's Avatar
 
Name: lola
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 207
Join Date: January 27th 2011

best friends going through a rough spot - February 25th 2011, 05:25 PM

So my best friend and I have been friends for about 2 years. At first we were'nt close at all. Not reall best friends at first, but we are now. Anyway, so things have not been going well latley, We used to talk about important stuff that was going on that we were going through or whatever. He said that no matter what he would always be there whenever i needed to talk and that i could always call him for anything. Latley we haven't been talking about the stuff that makes either of us upset and we just sort of are not communicating as much as we used to. he used to say engouraging things to mew and make me feel better when im uspet. He always used to say that he belived him me that i could stop cutting and get over my depression. he doesnt say stuff like that anymore. i used to always be there for him too and i still want to but he doesnt tell be stuff anymore so that i can help him. I am just starting to feel like he doesnt care anymore, i have tried talking to him about all of this once and he kind of just brushed it off and nothing got solved. I really needed to talk to him yesterday because i wanted to cut again and i was upset, and so i texted him and he knew that i was upset and he didnt even help, he just fell asleep carelessly. I want our friendship to get back to the way it used to be but i dont know how.


We do not fear death, we fear that no one will notice our absence. That we will disappear without a trace.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
kitkat_kate Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
kitkat_kate's Avatar
 
Name: Katie
Gender: Female
Location: Nebraska, USA

Posts: 187
Join Date: November 5th 2010

Re: best friends going through a rough spot - February 26th 2011, 07:46 PM

Hey, Lola. I'm not going to lie to you and say that these transitions in life are easy. They just aren't. I know that. I'm going through a similar situation with one of my best friends, and there are days when it makes me so upset I just want to cry. But I also know that maybe this is best.

We are both getting older and becoming interested in new things. It's really hard to want to tell her about the new crush I have or the way so-and-so made me feel bad, but sometimes I just can't. I don't even know if I can trust her. So I've had to find new friends, new people to trust and love.

It has been hard, but maybe you'll need to do that, too. If it's really bothering you, you could try writing your friend a letter to explain it to him. Then he could read it and process it on his own time so that he doesn't feel pressured to have an answer on the spot. Also, know that it's probably not just him. I'm not saying you've done anything wrong, but while you've grown, so has he. Sometimes you don't grow together.

Placing 100% of the blame never helps. It only hurts feelings.

I hope you find a way to rebuild your friendship, but if that's becoming more and more strained, it's okay to move on a bit, too. It's hard, but finding a new person to talk to, even just one, is helpful.

Coming here gives you a new place to seek support from people who have felt low before. We're all in this together and I hope you can figure out how to get the support you need and how to revitalize your friendship. If you need to talk, you can PM me anytime. <3



i am not my scars and my history
i am, i am, i am who i am...i am who i am.
there are true things inside of me;
i have been afraid to see.

  Send a message via MSN to kitkat_kate Send a message via Skype™ to kitkat_kate 
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
Normality, my friends.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
SparklingWine's Avatar
 
Name: Lynds :)
Age: 27
Gender: Grill ;)
Location: Seattle

Posts: 7,230
Blog Entries: 197
Join Date: February 19th 2009

Re: best friends going through a rough spot - March 2nd 2011, 10:26 PM

Lola,

Friends are going to come and go. Falling outs are normal. That doesn't make them easier though. You've tried talking to him, and he brushed it off. It seems like he doesn't care as much as he used to. His vision may be clouded by something going on in his life right now. I know you want him to open up to you, but he might just not be wanting to do that. It's best not to push him on it.


You may want to reflect upon the reasons as to why you are falling out. It takes two to tango, so it's quite possible that you had something to do with it. If you can't think about what it is, you might want to ask him "Hey, is there anything that I did to cause this?" You both play a part in the friendship. Thus you both play a part in your falling out with him.

It sucks that he wasn't there for you, but this may be a sign that you should broaden your support system. I know that can be hard, but it's worth it. You can't be completely dependant on one person, because things like this can happen, and you feel left with nothing. It's good to have a back up when it comes to things this.

Your friend will come around eventually. The best that you can do is wait. While you wait, you can make your support system stronger. Also, you should just let your friend know that you are always there for him. Just throw the idea out there, and let the rest take care of itself. Don't worry, this will get easier to deal with. It sucks now, but it won't suck forever. Stay strong, and hold on to hope. <3

Take care,
-Lyndsee :]


  Send a message via AIM to SparklingWine Send a message via MSN to SparklingWine  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
friends, rough, spot

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.