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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bugsy351 Offline
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Unhappy feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 14th 2011, 11:24 AM

Me and My now ex best friend have been friends a long time but its only last night I trully saw her for what she is Basically what happened was I told her that I liked this guy and she knew that me and him were very close, she even turned around and said she thought he liked me. We went to meet him and the whole night she was all over him like a rash and I got more and more hurt so I stormed off and she came after me we made up and made a promise that nothing would happen between him and either of us. Yeah well.. she slept with him whilst I was asleep in the same bed and I woke up to find them half naked entwined in one another so I walked out and his best mate came to find me, he made me wait for her before I went home. In short we had a massive row and i called her a slut and told both of them I never wanted to see them again so she abandoned me in a toilet cubicle whilst I was throwing up and I haven't seen her since. I just want to know how the hell I cope with feeling like this.. I'm angry and sad yet I keep hoping one of them will care enough to call..


nez <3
Dory: Are... are you my conscience?
Marlin: [sighs] Yes, I'm your conscience. We haven't spoken for a while. How are you?
Dory: Eh, can't complain.


Last edited by PSY; March 14th 2011 at 05:53 PM. Reason: Moved thread to the "Friends and Family" forum.
   
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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 14th 2011, 11:49 AM

Hi Nez,
Gosh, I'm so sorry something like this happened to you.
Maybe the reason she did that was because she somehow could regret that the two of you broke up? And didn't like to hear you say you like someone else. A guy, too, at that? And I guess the guy you liked, didn't really know you liked him? Did he?

One thing I can tell you, if she really was your friend, however strong her urge was(for whatever reason), she would never have done that to you. I know it's going to be hard for you to cope with this. Maybe if you just accept what has happened, that'll help you move past it? You need to be strong, for yourself. If you try to distract yourself from it, it'll help you get on with your life. What I've learned is that if I keep regretting what's happened, I'll ruin my present and my future. It took me a long time to learn that I have the strength inside me. I just didn't look hard enough. You just need to keep going. Better things will come. A constant of hope gives us enough strength to get by.
Hope you feel better, sweets.

If you want to talk, or anything, pm/vm me anytime, yeah? <3


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
bugsy351 Offline
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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 14th 2011, 01:08 PM

She was never with me lol and They both knew how much i liked him that's why it hurts so damn much. He made me so many promises that he liked me more than her but in the end it seems he only cared about which one of us would sleep with him I've lost both friends over something that is not my fault, all I did was tell them how much it hurt me xx


nez <3
Dory: Are... are you my conscience?
Marlin: [sighs] Yes, I'm your conscience. We haven't spoken for a while. How are you?
Dory: Eh, can't complain.

   
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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 14th 2011, 02:40 PM

Oh. Lol. Sorry, my misunderstanding!

Well, then I can tell you I know how you feel. This guy I was totally head over heels in love with screwed up my life saying the "I was the one" and "He's never loved anyone like me" and kissed me and soon decided that he'd rather hump really close friend. The only reason I can deal with it is because he doesn't live here anymore.


I've had a hard had time getting over him. He and I went out like for 7 months or more a few years back. We broke up. But soon, when he came back here a while again, he told me he wasn't "over" me, which caused it all. And well, I had liked him so much for like, 6 years, and even the thought of him not being with me anymore, nearly killed me. I'd cry myself to sleep every night. I'd felt I'd been stabbed repeatedly when I was asleep: Not to kill me, but only to leave me an inch from death.


It took me a hell of a long time to come to terms with what happened. I regretted every moment of it. But accepting what had happened and trying to change how I was and taking all the lessons from it, rather than hating his and her guts, I turned it into something positive for me. To work for myself, and to make sure I only take all the good things away, and learn from my mistakes.

It will, obviously take ages, but trying and trying gets you there eventually, or close to it at least. Which is where I'm at actually. I still have a lot of work to do, but I'm getting, and I really hope you do too!!

If you need to talk, you know where to find m
e. Take care of yourself! <3


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 14th 2011, 03:27 PM

It's happen too me twice in 6 months just come to the conclusion to dump both of them. She just text me saying sorry and I said sorry too but ile never trust her again to be honest so I'm saying sorry just to end the fight coz I don't like fighting with people but it's not gonna be the way it was xx


nez <3
Dory: Are... are you my conscience?
Marlin: [sighs] Yes, I'm your conscience. We haven't spoken for a while. How are you?
Dory: Eh, can't complain.

   
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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 14th 2011, 04:11 PM

Aww, darn! I absolutely detest fighting too. Yeah, I guess trust really has to be earned, and in this case, she has a long way to go, if you ever trust her again. Hang in there sweetie, I know you'll make it through. I'm right there behind you <33


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 14th 2011, 10:11 PM

Nez,

What your friend did to you was not okay. It's good that you apologized, and that she did, as the fighting can end. She needs to know that you can never trust her again. You don't want to give her mixed feelings just to avoid conflict. In my opinion, you have the upper hand in this, so use it. She slept with the guy you liked in the same bed you were in! That's is disrespectful on so many levels. Sure, maybe it wasn't the best idea to call her a slut. But when in the heat of the moment, we can say some pretty vulgar things to people. I think that you need to talk to her. Tell her that you really liked this guy. Tell her that it hurt when she did it, because you thought you could trust her. Tell her this in a respectful way, as you don't want any more fights. There are mature ways to say these types of things. Let her know that you forgive her, but you can't trust her anymore. If you don't forgive her- you can't move on.

You need to have closure with her. But like kaveri said- you can always distract yourself from feeling like this. Go hang out with other people, get to know new friends. It's going to hurt for a while, but don't let the pain stop you from doing the right thing. As far as I am concerned, this friendship just needs to end. There is no changing the past. The only way the friendship can last is if you forgive her, and trust her again. Right now, it's going to be hard. Maybe things will change in the future. She is will learn and grow, as will you. People have the ability to change. Let this be a lesson to her.


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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 16th 2011, 02:12 AM

You're right and I've told her that things will never be the same and that I need time to think, haven't spoken to her since saying that. Kaveri you're right too distracting myself is the only way forward because when I think about that night it makes me feel sick. At the moment everything is going round and round in my head but if she'd just slept with him I'd be devastated but I wouldn't hurt like this.. It's the fact that she left me being sick in a public toilet in a place I didn't know that really really hurts. He hasn't been in contact with me at all.. So I'm guessing I mean nothing to him and never did


nez <3
Dory: Are... are you my conscience?
Marlin: [sighs] Yes, I'm your conscience. We haven't spoken for a while. How are you?
Dory: Eh, can't complain.

   
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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 16th 2011, 10:26 AM

Hey Nez,
Yeah, I guess he isn't worth thinking about if you didn't seem to mean as much as you thought you did to him. Actually, I have to agree with Lynds. The mistake I made with my situation was that I didn't confront him or her as to how much I was hurt by how both of them acted. He knew how much I loved him. But I just took it for granted. I accepted things. It didn't really change him very much, but it had lasting effects on me, that weren't really necessary and wouldn't have been there if I had taken care of it properly.
I think you need to sort that out with your (ex)best friend. You really need to talk to her about what she did and how it really hurt you.
Yup, keeping distracted helps. Focusing attention to something else is a good idea. But also remember that whatever happens, happens for a reason. We should just handle things in such a way that it makes us stronger. Eventhough it hurts, we need to get through it. Make new friends, as Lynds suggested! It'll really help!

Hope you feel better soon!! Love and hugs! <3


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 20th 2011, 02:37 AM

Arrgghhh he's trying to turn it on me and say that all this happening was my fault


nez <3
Dory: Are... are you my conscience?
Marlin: [sighs] Yes, I'm your conscience. We haven't spoken for a while. How are you?
Dory: Eh, can't complain.

   
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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 20th 2011, 03:51 AM

Ouch... This is awful, sorry this happened to you ):

Don't listen to that guy if he tries to make something like this your fault. You didn't make them take their clothes off, what is he trying to pull? You are definitely not responsible for this situation.

Because the people involved were so close to you, it will be difficult, but as the people above me stated, you should try to find closure. Try to think of this as the end of a messy chapter in your life, and begin the next chapter! Go out, have fun, meet new people, try new hobbies, volunteer for a local charity, and live your life! Show those people from your 'last chapter' that you can be strong, confident, and (most of all) happy without them (:

I hope things take a better turn for you, best wishes!
   
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Re: feeling totally betrayed :'( - March 20th 2011, 05:57 AM

Hi Nez,
He is such an A-hole for doing that to you, and you need to get things straight with him. He has no right, what-so-ever to do something like that to you and put all of the blame on you. Fact: HE slept with your friend. HE hurt you, HE didn't bother to acknowledge the fact that you liked him and still mucked around. And now he's blaming YOU?

Don't let him do this to you. You need to stand up to him and put him in his place. And then, just forget him, he doesn't deserve a place in your life after the way he's treated you. Go out, have some fun, and leave him be. You can't let someone like that find ways to rule over you and manipulate you. If you feel like shouting at him, go ahead. And then, just leave him be.

Get on with your life, which probably will be better when he's out of it. That was no way to treat you, hun, and you should be happy. You deserve to be happy. So don't mind anyone if you don't feel like and keep your chin up! <3


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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