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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Hate my family. - April 21st 2011, 02:35 PM

I hate what's happening with my family.

My dad's cheating on my mum and she never does anything about it. There's a social stigma attached to being a dysfunctional family, so they keep up the pretension and it's killing me. The are freaking liars and I don't even know why they are still together. They would make things better for us if they go separate ways but no, my fantastic mother never tells him anything, and would readily cow down cos my dad has the big bucks. And my mum doesn't earn a buck.

I hate this family. My brother is the only good thing but I'm also worried about him cos I'll be moving out to university and I can't really leave him here. As it is we're both going mad living with them.

Life sucks so bad. I'm getting extremely depressed.
   
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Re: Hate my family. - April 21st 2011, 04:01 PM

Is it possible that you can try and fix things before you go off to a university?
I think that you should talk to your family about how you feel about the current situation.
Of course, don't come at them like you're attacking them, because they will become defensive.
Honestly, this is something that might not change for them, because it seems like it's becoming a way of life. The best thing you can do is focus on going to a university and becoming prepared for that. You're branching out and becoming an adult, so it's time to start focusing on you. as for your brother, the best you can do is be an example for him and help him learn how to cope. But I seriously suggest talking to your parents and letting them know that it's affecting everyone, and not just them. I hope all goes well. <3


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Re: Hate my family. - April 22nd 2011, 02:02 AM

Unfortunately, your situation isn't too uncommon. My mom would have preferred to stay married to my dad despite how unhappy she was, if it meant not having to work full-time and not having to worry about bills, insurance, etc. My dad felt differently, and so he divorced her. As long as both of your parents are getting what they want (more or less) out of their marriage, they won't have any incentive to divorce.

Your dad gets to maintain his reputation as the perfect family man while seeing someone else on the side - he has zero incentive to leave your mom, unless he cares about you and realizes just how badly this is affecting you and your brother. You already touched upon why your mom has zero incentive to leave your dad, so again, you need to demonstrate how this is affecting you and your brother.

I agree with Lyndsee about going off to college, becoming an independent adult, and setting an example for your brother. You can't control what your parents do with their lives, but you CAN control what you do with yours. Your brother can have the two lifestyles to compare, and chances are, he won't want to follow your parents' example after seeing how well you can do on your own.

I am truly sorry to hear about your situation, and I wish you all the best in handling all these negative feelings. <3






   
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