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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Mochabrown Offline
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Unhappy New Mom - May 19th 2011, 12:21 AM

I am new here and I am a single mom my son is 13 and he is giving me he** I am not sure what to do because the first thing he yells out is I don't have a dad so why should I care? He is doing things that don't make sense to me. HELP!!!!!!!!
   
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Re: New Mom - May 19th 2011, 01:18 AM

Have you considered taking him to some kind of counselor or therapist? He seems resentful due to not having a dad around, so finding a professional to help him cope may prove beneficial.


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Re: New Mom - May 19th 2011, 06:22 AM

I moved this to Friends and Family because I feel it fits better here.
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Re: New Mom - May 19th 2011, 02:54 PM

Hey there! Welcome to Teen Help. I can understand why you're feeling the way that you do.
He is probably acting out because he doesn't have a dad. That part is clear. He is stating what he wants. He wants a father. He is ranting to you. I think what you need to do is go up to him when he is feeling like this and ask what you can do to help. Sometimes those words can go a long way. He is a teenager, so he might just say something smart, and walk away. But you showing that you care, and are interested in hearing his wants and needs means a lot to a kid. Another thing that you can do is take him to therapy. He might not be willing to do that, but you have to try. Tell him that you want to go to family counseling, and because he is apart of the family, you would like him to go. Tell him that he doesn't have to talk, just be there. He'll talk and open up if he feels like it's safe to do so. So, don't force it out of him. That's only going to make things worse. Take care<3


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Re: New Mom - May 19th 2011, 03:32 PM

Using the fact he doesn't have a dad is simply him trying to push you around. You feel guilty, therefore he whips you with the guilt, getting his way. You need control over the boy. That does not give you a right to shout at him, or hit him. You must keep a level voice, and to be completely honest when my parents keep level I know that they will be logical in their punishments which is about a thousand times worse than when they scream and freak out.

I would recomend counselling. At this age alot of things are going on. Your veiws on the world are changing, your body is resisting you, school is hard, and you are trying to find who you are. It's alot to handle and he probably feels a father figure could help him. However that doesn't mean you should feel inclined to meet some guy to give him a father, your son will probably reject him anyway. Therapy is your best hope at fixing what is wrong.

You should also make him behave, but through love and his own morals. Be kind to him and soon you'll find he has no reason to disobey you. However this does not give him rights to walk over you. Be firm but kind. Like you would with a puppy. Young humans and young dogs really aren't too different.

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