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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Best friend's obsession? - June 12th 2011, 03:54 AM

It all started sophmore year when my best friend's first boyfriend, who I'm now friends with and kinda hope to be more than friends with soon, broke up with her because she told him that if he didn't have sex with her she was going to break up with him. Ever since then she's pretty much been obsessed with sex. She does it with any guy that asks. She thought she was pregnant twice sophmore year. Half way through junior year she got put in foster care because she was having sex with 20 year olds. Now she's getting adopted and she's still having sex with any guy that asks. Every time I talk to her that's all she talks about. Right now I'm just ignoring her calls because I don't want to hear it. How do I get it through to her that I don't care to know about it?
   
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Re: Best friend's obsession? - June 13th 2011, 01:16 AM

Tell her you don't want to hear about her sex life. If she calls and starts talking about her latest encounter, change the subject. If she starts talking about it again, tell her you don't want to talk about it. If she ignores your request, hang up on her. She'll get the message soon enough.

Also, if you can get in touch with the foster parents, I would tell them what's going on. Your friend may not be using birth control, which puts her at greater risk for pregnancy. If the men she's sleeping with aren't using condoms, then that also put her at risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Her legal guardians have a right to know about this high-risk sexual behavior. They can help her address whatever it is that's causing her to turn to men for sex - perhaps she has unresolved issues from her childhood, or maybe she's suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness (which is causing her to participate in high-risk sexual activities).






   
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Re: Best friend's obsession? - June 13th 2011, 03:35 PM

I've told her but she just ignores me and keeps talking. I don't really want to be friends with her anymore because she's always trying to compete with me over everything. For example a year ago I was engaged to the most amazing guy since I told her she's been engaged 4 times. As soon as she gets engaged she tells me all about it but it always ends the same way as soon as she gets what she wants from them she breaks up with them.

Another example would be I use to tell her stories about my smoking and drinking days and then she would go and try to drink more than I did. And tell me about it and I would tell her its not a competition because I'm not proud of it. Drinking more than I did is really dangerous but she didn't care. That's when she started having sex because she knew I didn't. It's like she's trying to be better than me by doing things I didn't or outdoing the things that I did.
   
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Re: Best friend's obsession? - June 17th 2011, 11:01 PM

Can be a tough thing telling your best friend you don't want to hear her stories.
If you have tried to tell her and she is not listening, get a bit harsher with her. Not to the point where you can risk loosing your friendship. Just say "look, I understand that you need someone to talk to about your sex life but I dont want to hear about it anymore"
Tell her to find someone who has a similar sex life to her (as I am guessing you haven't got similar sex lives)
If she goes mad at you then she clearly isn't listening to what you want or your needs in the friendship. If she does react bad then is would seem like a self centred person.
If she understands your issue then im sure all will be good soon.

Hope everything works out. Pm if you need more help
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Re: Best friend's obsession? - June 21st 2011, 12:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LJay1992 View Post
Can be a tough thing telling your best friend you don't want to hear her stories.
If you have tried to tell her and she is not listening, get a bit harsher with her. Not to the point where you can risk loosing your friendship. Just say "look, I understand that you need someone to talk to about your sex life but I dont want to hear about it anymore"
Tell her to find someone who has a similar sex life to her (as I am guessing you haven't got similar sex lives)
If she goes mad at you then she clearly isn't listening to what you want or your needs in the friendship. If she does react bad then is would seem like a self centred person.
If she understands your issue then im sure all will be good soon.

Hope everything works out. Pm if you need more help
Laura

I've only had sex with 1 guy and she's been with many guys not all of them being her bf. She's proud of being with so many guys. I talked to her a week ago and she started talking about her sex life again so I said " I get that you want someone to talk to about it but what your doing to all those guys isn't right and I don't want to be a part of your "engagements".I'm tired of you thinking everything is a competition. You have a problem and you need to get help with it but until you do I'm done with all of it." Then I deleted her off my skype and put her on the block list and put her number on the auto ignore list on my phone.
   
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