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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Glass Slipper Offline
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Name: Frankie<3
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She's back on drugs again... - June 16th 2011, 12:37 AM

My grandma just told me yesterday that my mom was back to using drugs and I can't open up my mouth to her about it. My grandma wasn't even going to tell me like im a 5 year old. Fuck I know my mom is a disappointment she has been my whole life there is nothing new about that. I just wish she would care more about me then the damn alcohol and smoking and drugs...but know she doesn't. and I just am so pissed at her but can't say any god damn thing to her about it because she plays the blame game plus promised my grandma I wouldn't and she'll go on saying "yes I know I can't do anything right" but damn right she can't when it comes to her fucking kids.

I just need someone to talk to about this.


We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
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Re: She's back on drugs again... - June 16th 2011, 01:31 AM

Frankie, I kind of know what you're going through. My mom does things where is makes me question whether or not she puts her kids first. It just seems like she has all these other things to do, then spend time with her family. And it totally hurts. You'd think a mom should protect you, love you, and do anything for you. Unfortunately, not all moms are like that. But thing that you should do is surround yourself with the people who DO care and who DO make an effort with you. Sure, they aren't going to replace your mother, because obviously that bond is irreplaceable, no matter what. But sometimes we have to be thankful for what we do have in this life. It's obviously harder to be that optimistic about others in your life, but you'll get there. the best thing you can do is stay positive and optimistic, even when it seems like you can't. And learning to appreciate the small things in life will make you feel that much more better. It's basically making do with what you do have, and creating your own happiness. For me, I'm moving out of state and starting my own life with new friends and people. It's all a process and will take time. I am sorry you're going through this though. You deserve to have a mother that cares for you and puts you above everything else. Hang in there, dear<3


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Glass Slipper Offline
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Re: She's back on drugs again... - June 16th 2011, 03:06 AM

Sorry but I don't think you understand me at all.

My MOTHER doesn't CARE at ALL. I have lived with grandparents ever since I was born basically and only saw her once in awhile. I damn well know she doesn't know how to be a fucking mother. And I guess no 0one here understands my point... I will never treat her like a mom and that is that I'm pissed at her for shit she does...Just I need to know that someone understands me but guess not


We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: She's back on drugs again... - June 16th 2011, 03:20 AM

Relax, only one other person answered, it doesn't mean everyone here on TH cannot understand you or your situation.

What I don't understand is if you live with your grandparents (presumably you get along pretty well with them) but not your mother, why would your grandparents even talk to you about your mother? If you've only seen your mother a few times, even if you didn't know she was on drugs, the fact you don't like her but do like your grandparents makes it seem confusing why your grandparents bother mentioning your mother. It's understandable why your grandparents don't want to tell you about your mother's condition as it's hard for any child at any age to keep hearing their parent is so doped up, they cant properly function as a mother. You may feel that your grandmother is treating you like an infant but you should step back and consider that she's trying to protect you from being hurt some more. Given how you typed your first post and the response, it suggests you can be somewhat explosive, so that's another thing your grandparents want to avoid happening.

Step back and think about why your grandparents act in such a way, you'll see it suggests they're trying to act in your best interests yet all you do is turn around and spit in their face then stomp off elsewhere.

Assuming your mother stayed clean from the drugs for a while and had a well-paying job, would you still choose to live with your grandparents or would you try to live with her despite your hatred to her?


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Glass Slipper Offline
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Name: Frankie<3
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Re: She's back on drugs again... - June 16th 2011, 03:44 AM

UGH didn't you not read my post I see my mother I just don't live with the bitch...


We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
|PM/VM|


   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Re: She's back on drugs again... - June 16th 2011, 07:00 AM

Hey there, Frankie!

Some of TeenHelp's members can fully relate to your situation, but most cannot. That doesn't mean their advice or words of wisdom are any less valuable, though, so please respond in a more respectful manner when fellow members take the time to reply to your thread. We may not be dealing with parents who suffer from addictions, but that doesn't mean we can't empathize.

If you would like to vent, you're more than welcomed to do so. Everyone needs to do that from time to time. If you're looking for advice on how to handle the situation (aside from what you're doing now), I think the advice you've been offered so far is right on target, and I'm sure other members will continue to offer advice if they believe you'll be receptive toward it. =)





   
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Stupidity Kills
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Re: She's back on drugs again... - June 16th 2011, 06:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DivingCheska View Post
UGH didn't you not read my post I see my mother I just don't live with the bitch...
You keep saying your mother doesn't care at all but have you stopped to take a look at yourself? The way you talk about her, it seems you don't care at all about her. Assuming she made at least some attempts to be with you for however long, it failed and it will keep failing because of you. So far you're doing a spot-on job ensuring you two won't ever have a positive relationship.

The hypothetical question in my previous post was to address just that, assuming she got clean, would you want to live with her or even see her for a longer amount of time given your attitude? As you can see, I did read your posts, otherwise I wouldn't ask such a question and I do not care for asking mindless questions.

I have some advice for you which may not help your current situation but will help you elsewhere in the present and in the long-run with others, possibly even with your mother: cut the crap, get off your high horse [Edited]. If you want to talk with anyone, whether it's on here or elsewhere, show a little bit of respect. [Edited] Given your behaviour, I honestly cant see why anyone on here, let alone in-person would want to have a conversation with you, as so far three people on here including myself have attempted. In return, all you did was crap all over the place and attempt to be-little.

Change your attitude and you will receive more help from other users, that I can assure you of. However, if you want no such thing, then leave.

In the meantime, PSY has given sound advice and I've yet to see a time when her advice is completely off.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)

Last edited by PSY; June 16th 2011 at 09:46 PM. Reason: Removed content in order to help maintain the positive environment of TeenHelp.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Meli Offline
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Re: She's back on drugs again... - June 16th 2011, 06:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DivingCheska View Post
Sorry but I don't think you understand me at all.

My MOTHER doesn't CARE at ALL. I have lived with grandparents ever since I was born basically and only saw her once in awhile. I damn well know she doesn't know how to be a fucking mother. And I guess no 0one here understands my point... I will never treat her like a mom and that is that I'm pissed at her for shit she does...Just I need to know that someone understands me but guess not
You need to calm down. One person gave a scenario, you cannot think that you're the only person in the world with a bad situation. My father left me when I was 6 months old because he didnt like girls, he wanted to own his bar, and now he's in jail. I'm QUITE sure my FATHER doesn't CARE at ALL either. I'm always here to talk cause Im sure i've been through what youve been through. You jusr need to calm down, breathe, and PM me if you want to talk.
   
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