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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Marguerite Offline
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What do I do here? - July 17th 2011, 04:02 AM

I have this friend who is a really nice person and we have good conversations. I'm just saying this because I don't want to not ever talk to him again or ignore him like I would with other people.

This guy, I'll call him Tom, has had two boyfriends. One is a singer from his favourite TV show, and the other is a singer/actor/model from his OTHER favourite TV show. They both have facebook pages for which I and about 6 other people (who are in our 'group) are the only 'friends' they have. He and his current superstar boyfriend have a rule, no photos together and to never meet each others friends (in case they break up and it gets messy!).

I think you see where I'm going with this.

The thing is, he has been through some really hard times in the past few years (and all of his life actually, owing to a pretty severe physical disability) so I used to just be able to ignore it. Who cares if the guy wants to make up some boyfriends? Whatever.

It started to get more irritating though as he takes the opportunity to bring everything back to this phantom guy and their relationship ("You're drinking a can of pepsi? That reminds me of when me and X were sitting alone drinking pepsi and I got it all over my shirt, so I took it off and ETC ETC")

But even that was only mildly irritating. Now I'm getting really annoyed. He is trying to drag me into these elaborate stories and I don't know how to handle it. Like the other day he was messaging me for ages like

"I just had a fight with X"
"Oh, what about?"
"The press are asking him questions and he thinks we should take a break."
"Oh, that sucks."
"I know, because I really love him. He's coming over soon because he wants to talk about it"

And it goes on forever.

It's doing my head in. I don't know whether I should talk to him as if it were real, or just brush him off and have him think I'm a total bitch.

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget

~Arundhati Roy
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Re: What do I do here? - July 18th 2011, 12:30 AM

Is there anything in particular that makes you think your friend could be lying? I mean, from what you've said on this thread, there's nothing to suggest he ISN'T dating someone famous.

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SparklingWine Offline
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Re: What do I do here? - July 19th 2011, 07:42 PM

I think you should weight out the pros and cons of each option and figure out which one has less cons and more pros. If you brush it off and come across as a bitch, then he might want an explanation as to why you're. Acting this way. After that, you either lie to him or you tell him the truth. And if this friend means as much to you as you say he does, then I don't thing you should lie. Maybe you should just come out and ask him if his boyfriend is real. He might be offended by that, but then explain your reasonings as to why you feel this way. He will either comfirm or deny. Obviously, he may be mad at you for even asking, so it might be a factor in which you wouldn't say anything. But if you pretend as though you don't have any suspicions, then again, you're lying to him. I think should should just take the risk and ask him whether or not he is lying about him famous boyfriend.

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