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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question Advice please? - October 14th 2011, 09:37 PM

So I posted before, talking about my friend who was crushing on these guys online. Well, up until a week ago she stopped. Now she's dating this guy online that she had before. He was online last night and she went to talk to him and he completely ignored her. When she confronted him about this he got annoyed/mad and then logged off. She called me and talked to me, saying it was all her fault and that she shouldn't have said anything.

I don't want to be mean and tell either one of them that they're being a tad over dramatic about it. Can someone give me some advice on what I can do to cheer up my friend? She keeps saying it's her fault and she keeps saying that she shouldn't have said anything.

This guy, in my opinion, is somewhat mentally/emotionally unstable and I'm afraid that he's going to yell at her or something if she says something wrong.

Anyway, yeah. Some good advice on how I can somehow help her? Like how I could cheer her up or something?
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Re: Advice please? - October 14th 2011, 11:03 PM

As her friend, it's your job to help her as best you can and as you see fit. In my opinion, cheering her up isn't what she needs. She doesn't need someone to pat her on the back and say, "There, there." She needs someone to be honest with her - in a loving way, of course. Why not tell her what you think of the situation? She may not want to hear it, but if this is an unhealthy relationship, it's your job as her friend to say, "I care about you, and I want you to be happy, but I'm concerned about this relationship." THAT is how you can help her. Cheering her up is like putting a band-aid over a wound. Providing insight and advice is like teaching her how to avoid getting hurt altogether.

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Re: Advice please? - October 14th 2011, 11:59 PM

Oh, okay. Alright.
Thank you
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Re: Advice please? - October 15th 2011, 04:46 AM

As usual, I agree with Robin. You can pat her on the head and bake her cookies, that's all wonderful and loving but it distracts from the actual situation. Distraction isn't going to help, it's only going to compound the situation. Be honest and tell her the relationship isn't going to work out, they're both being drama queens and it's both their faults for initiating the conversation. Since it's online, the guy can yell to high hell, it won't matter as I assume it's an online site where people chat via text. She may not like hearing your honest opinion but life isn't always pretty, sometimes you have to make things worse and people hurt before it gets better. Nobody likes doing or receiving that but it's necessary. If any of my friends have a problem and seek my help, I'm going to be honest with them, if it hurts then so be it but I'll do my best to make it better.

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