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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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George^^ Offline
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Sometimes I don't want to see her. - January 29th 2012, 12:05 AM

Okay, I like my friend, and I'm going to go visit her in Feb. (I have a crush on her.) But at the same time, I don't want to see her. I don't want to know that I'm nothing but a friend. I don't want to have the same horrible feelings I get when she ignores me because of another friend.

And I can't tell my mom that because it's all set up, and I can't tell her that because then she'd be hurt. And I really do want to see her, because she's my friend, but god, does she have to be a bit of a bitch too? I mean, it isn't her fault for being all cocky and stubburn and totally not into me. But it hurts. Like hell.

One time we were hanging out, with two other people, and for the first half, she paid attention to just one of the girls and the reason why was because they were talking about smut, and I couldn't believe that because me and the other girl already pretty much know everything there is. And then I had to leave to do something and I came back, and I was the odd one out!

It hurt. A lot, and I'm not one of those people who can say something. But she's one of those people who just don't realize it, and I'm one of those people who consider others feelings, so I would never say anything unless I get pissed off.

Sorry for this... it's just complicated.


I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave
   
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Re: Sometimes I don't want to see her. - January 29th 2012, 05:46 AM

Well, I guess if she gives you any problems like that this time around, you should tell her. I don't think she realises she is hurting you in any way, thats why she keeps doing it, you know? You came to see HER so she should be paying attention to you.


   
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George^^ Offline
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Re: Sometimes I don't want to see her. - January 29th 2012, 07:11 PM

Thanks, that's true... I'll defiantly talk about it with her if needed..


I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Chris Offline
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Re: Sometimes I don't want to see her. - January 29th 2012, 11:12 PM

Hi George,

Join the club, my friend. So often we find that in a friendship between a male and a female (of any age) that there is usually someone who likes the other - but unfortunately the other one doesn't have the same feelings. In fact, I happen to be in the same situation again. Unfortunately we all go through this; but we deal with this in different ways.

Here are basically your options:

-You can communicate your feelings to her which will either:
•end the friendship
•make it an awkward friendship
•she cant tell you she has the same feelings
•she can just accept what you told her and move on with no problems.
♦Most often with this choice, the friendship will turn awkward, and the friendship will come to an end.♦

-You can hide your feelings which will lead to:
•You ending the friendship or pushing away from her because you cant handle the pain of not telling her how you really feel.
•You getting over the feelings (which rarely happens).
•Your feelings increasing for her
•You not being happy as much which may lead to depression (in severe cases).
♦In this case, when you hide your feelings, they usually increase to a point where you just cant handle it anymore; thus you push her away, or just explode in which place the friendship ends.♦

-You can hint to her how you feel which may lead to:
•Her not understanding - which will make the situation worse.
•Her understanding or taking the hints
•Her just teasing or giving hints back, although doesn't like you that way.
♦Most often, depending on the girl, if you hint by teasing her or flirting with her, she will tease and flirt back but that does NOT mean she likes you - but yet she wants to be playful. This may lead to more problems within the friendship.♦

This really is a situation you need to think about - so I would go over all that I said, and look at all the pros and cons.

How do I handle the situation? In most cases I eventually just get to a point where I have to tell them. Unfortunately the friendship sometimes ends. But hearts are often broken, but words left unspoken... Sometimes its worth the risk.



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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