TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
SouthernBelle. Offline
InsaneAnnie
I've been here a while
********
 
SouthernBelle.'s Avatar
 
Name: Anna
Gender: Female
Location: West Virginia, US

Posts: 1,056
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: November 30th 2010

Just want to leave. - March 7th 2012, 09:45 PM

It's not only my home, but it's also my school, my entire county, my friends.


My home? We're constantly yelling at each other, there's no order, and I almost committed suicide in it a few years back, actually several times. There's a lot of bad memories tied to this place, and I don't like them, and I feel like I need to escape to be truly happy. My mom and I just don't get along as a general rule. Her personality is completely different from mine, she won't ever leave me alone, I'm not allowed to do anything, and it's just... I hate it. And if that isn't bad enough, my little sister is exactly like her.


My school? Is one of the stupidest schools in this state. Everyone who hears about it says it sounds like a prison. It's sickening, I feel like I'm completely useless there, I just generally hate it. My classes suck.


My county? I feel trapped. I feel isolated from the world. No one knows about us, no one thinks of us. It's depressing. We have one of the highest drug/teen pregnancy rates in WV, and it doesn't even feel like home. There are no jobs, there are no activities, there is no purpose for people to even stay here unless they're just plain crazy.


My friends? I had five friends that I could really trust. One moved away, and told me not to let this place take the life out of me, and to get out of here as soon as I could, because he's seen what this county can do to people... Another guy friend of mine likes me as more than a friend, and it makes it immensely awkward. The other three hate each other. Well, actually, two of them hate each other, and the third one is hated by the second one. I'm torn three ways. I hate it.


My life right now feels oppressive and restricting. I've talked about this several times on here, and I've honestly tried getting involved, settling issues at home, et cetera. It didn't work. None of it worked.


I think I might have a solution, now, but I'm too afraid to ask, because this is the first ray of sunshine that's touched my life since I can remember.


My cousin's name is Kati, and she lives about two hours away from here, in a place that I used to live in for a while when I was younger. I loved it so much, being there. We went to visit my aunt and my cousin a few months back, and I felt free, and happy. My aunt even took up for me when my mom tried to be completely unfair. Several times, actually. She's one of my favorite people in the world, and I look up to her more than I think anyone realizes. My cousin, Kati, has been my best friend since I was old enough to remember. I get along better with her than any of my friends, we laugh together, she still takes care of me and makes sure everything is alright when I post something on Facebook about having a bad day, as does her mother.


I love the county they live in. Being there makes me feel free. Being around my aunt makes me laugh, being around my cousin makes me smile.

I thought that maybe, seeing as I'll be turning sixteen this fall, I could go live with them. There's several places I could work in that town within walking distance of my aunt's house, and thus pay rent to my aunt. The high school is also within walking distance.

Thus, better life for me.


I dunno how to even bring it up, though. I'm scared that it's just gonna be epically bad if I even ask, but I have to leave here, some way or another. I hate it more than anything I've ever hated in my entire life. And home shouldn't be that way.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,011
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: Just want to leave. - March 9th 2012, 12:30 AM

Unfortunately, I agree that this sort of conversation would be "epically bad," for two reasons:

1. Despite your arguments, chances are she still cares about you, and would feel very hurt if you said you wanted to live with someone else.
2. Even if she didn't care about you, it would be a huge blow to her pride if you were to live with someone else - it would be like telling everyone, "I failed as a mother."

I think your odds of being able to live with your aunt and cousin are pretty slim. If you were able to give your argument a "psychological" spin (ex. "This house triggers me because it's where I attempted suicide, and this school environment is hindering my recovery."), then you MIGHT stand a chance... but even then, it sounds like your mom would ultimately resist the idea.

One thing you could do is look at the emancipation laws for West Virginia... but generally, you have to be able to provide for yourself financially before you can become emancipated. Since your mom is restricting you, my guess is you would never have the opportunity to get a job, meaning you would never be able to meet the requirements for emancipation.

If all else fails, perhaps you can plan semi-frequent trips to your aunt's/cousin's house? They're two hours away, which isn't TOO far, and since they're family, I can't imagine your mom would be too resistant to the idea. (Just don't tell her it's so you can get away from your mom and sister!)






   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
SouthernBelle. Offline
InsaneAnnie
I've been here a while
********
 
SouthernBelle.'s Avatar
 
Name: Anna
Gender: Female
Location: West Virginia, US

Posts: 1,056
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: November 30th 2010

Re: Just want to leave. - March 9th 2012, 01:30 AM

Well, I've looked into the emancipation laws around here quite thoroughly, on my ex-boyfriend's encouragement after I told him how I hated living where I did.

I could easily handle the financial side of things; my dad's teaching me to drive, I'm getting a temporary job this summer, the money from which I could save back to help rent an apartment in the next town over once I've found a sufficient job there. Of course, I'd have to work there for several months, and drive back and forth to work and school beforehand, so that I can prove that I can support myself.


The only thing is, as much as I hate living here... I don't want to hurt my mom. She yells at me all the time, favors my little sister over me, and ignores me when she's not yelling at me, but I still don't want to to hurt her. I know that if I went to court and told them how I felt at home to give them a sufficient reason for why I want to leave, she'd end up crying. And as bad as it is here, I couldn't stand seeing that.



More than anything, though, I don't want to hurt my dad. When my dad's home, everything's good. He tells my mom to quit yelling at me, he takes care of me and talks to me all the time. He's my favorite person in the world, and I know if I left, it would hurt him. But no matter how much he talks to my mom about yelling at me, it doesn't help; as soon as he's gone, she starts up again.



It's just... Extremely stressful. School used to be something of a refuge for me, but now with my best friends all hating each other like they do, it's extremely stressful there, too. I used to go visit my ex, but now that he's moved, we've both moved on and that's ruined. I'm not even allowed to go visit aforementioned aunt -- my mom's afraid something will happen to me.


I know it would be best to emancipate myself. I know I'd be happier. But I can't help but want to please my parents, especially Daddy.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
PSY's Avatar
 
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,011
Blog Entries: 34
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: Just want to leave. - March 9th 2012, 02:22 AM

Your parents are stronger than you think they are. Your mom may cry, but she'll find a way to cope with her feelings. This may even be the "kick in the butt" she needs in order to realize how her actions have affected you. Your dad will understand your desire to become emancipated... and besides, it's not like you'll be saying "good bye" to him forever, or telling him HE failed as a parent. You can still visit and maintain a relationship with him after moving out. =)

While emancipation does seem possible in the physical and financial senses, I want you to also think about the possible emotional toll this could have on you. For example, would you be able to handle the long commute times to school? Would you be able to manage working while maintaining decent grades? If you can handle the physical, emotional, and financial aspects of emancipation (and the preparation for emancipation)... then sure, go for it! =) I mean, what's the worst-case scenario? You find it's too difficult after a few months, you move back in with your parents, and you move out when you turn 18 and graduate from school (when you can focus entirely on work vs. multi-tasking between work and school).






   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
SouthernBelle. Offline
InsaneAnnie
I've been here a while
********
 
SouthernBelle.'s Avatar
 
Name: Anna
Gender: Female
Location: West Virginia, US

Posts: 1,056
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: November 30th 2010

Re: Just want to leave. - March 9th 2012, 01:24 PM

Well, I think I'll look into it a bit more, beforehand. I'm currently looking at several counties that moving to would possibly be a great benefit to me (the median income, job availability, average contract rent, crime rate, etc.), and I'll probably make my decision after I find a suitable place to move. If I emancipated myself and stayed in this county, it wouldn't be good at all, as there are no jobs to be had and the drug-related crime rate is steep. The county I currently reside in is one of the poorest counties in one of the poorest states in the entirety of the U.S., if that tells you anything, haha.


I'm definitely going to continue looking into this over the next several months, however, and give myself a lot of time to think it over -- I don't think this is a decision that should be made in haste, no matter how good it might seem.


Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Gemma. Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Gemma.'s Avatar
 
Name: Gemma
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 150
Blog Entries: 48
Join Date: January 9th 2012

Re: Just want to leave. - March 9th 2012, 08:13 PM

I think you should give it a go, have you spoken to your aunt and cousin about it yet? They given you any advice if you have? But yeah, dont rush into the decision.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
leave

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.