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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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PurpleMoon Offline
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Exclamation She must be as desperate as him (Kinda Long) - March 12th 2012, 06:21 PM

One of my friends just got in her first relationship, and I really don’t want her to get hurt.

So let me start right at the beginning, we used to go to primary school with him and he said when we met up at least three years ago that he used to fancie her, to which she started to like him again, until we met up with him and his friend who we also went to primary school with, she started fancying him. ( She kinda fancies anyone who is nice to her…) Well anyway when we went out, with them he kept groping me, which she don’t like (Neither did I) and she got annoyed with him when she threw his friends bag in the bin and he grabbed her bag and went down it and took out her disability card and waved it around, which obviously up set her.
So we haven’t seen him for a while but we went out with his friend and some other people and she till liked his friend and that she hated the boy she is now dating.

So the other day I was in Iceland with my dad and I saw the boy, and when I got home he started talking to me over face book. He was telling me how he split up with his girlfriend 4 days ago and that he wasn’t over her, I just joked about like I normally do in that situation, and I told my friend that he had split up with his girlfriend and that he misses her. She said aww tell him im here for him. Which was a bit weird because she was still telling me that she hated him the other day.

So I carried on talking to him and he started coming on to me saying how he has alwaysed liked me and how he wanted to ask me out and that we should meet up. I didn’t feel the same at all and told him I didn’t want a relationship and that I was busy on the day he asked.. So I told my friend about it and she started saying tell him I’ll me up with him and all that, then she rang me and we spoke about it I told when he said (He also told me that he wouldn’t go out with her because he has nothing in common with her) so they started talking and about 5 minutes later they have both changed there relationship status to in a relationship.

It really annoyed me that she would go out with him, toward that fact he asked me out first, and had groped me whilst being in a relationship with someone else (He also said he wanted to so more with me then that I just ignored it) and he has upset her but going down his bag.

I honestly think he is only going out with her because 1) he wants to kinda make his Ex girlfriend jealous and 2) because he doesn’t want to not have a girlfriend..

What shocked me even more is that she would suddenly change her mind, because he asked her out. I know there isn’t anything I can do about it but I just wanna here other peoples opinion on it.

I don’t him to hurt my friend, which it seems like he is going to……. Thanks for reading !!
 
Thanks
Billie


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Re: She must be as desperate as him (Kinda Long) - March 12th 2012, 06:52 PM

It doesn't seem like hes going to hurt her, he will. Listen, I'm not a physic, and I cant tell you the future, but I know the signs of when things are going to fail. This guy would clearly dump your friend if his ex showed any interest in him at all.

Your right, and you seem like you know what is going on, but just want someone to confirm it. He doesn't like this girl (atleast to a high level), and that this point, I'm guessing he will take any girl as a girlfriend. Hes desperate, and he doesn't want to be alone at this point. Hes using your friend, and its sad that your friend has more feelings for him and she is falling for it.

There isn't much you can do here, so don't think you need to be the superhero and save the day. If you tell her that she should date him, then I'm going to take a wild guess and say that she will get upset with you which may or may not cause some problems within the friendship. If you say anything to him, he may admit that he doesn't like her, but that how bad would that look if you told your friend that he said he doesn't like her? Chances are she would call you a lier, and things would go downhill. See, so the only real thing you can do here is just be with her, support her, and wait. If she needs you, she will call you. If they break up, be prepared to support her and comfort her.



Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: She must be as desperate as him (Kinda Long) - March 12th 2012, 07:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisjackson911 View Post
It doesn't seem like hes going to hurt her, he will. Listen, I'm not a physic, and I cant tell you the future, but I know the signs of when things are going to fail. This guy would clearly dump your friend if his ex showed any interest in him at all.

Your right, and you seem like you know what is going on, but just want someone to confirm it. He doesn't like this girl (atleast to a high level), and that this point, I'm guessing he will take any girl as a girlfriend. Hes desperate, and he doesn't want to be alone at this point. Hes using your friend, and its sad that your friend has more feelings for him and she is falling for it.
I completely agree with him. If he has been know to cheat and if he asked you out then he will most likely going hurt her. There isn't much you can do about it.
   
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Re: She must be as desperate as him (Kinda Long) - March 12th 2012, 08:03 PM

Thanks, it kinda bugged me though that she went for him even though all that stuff had happend it annoyes me that my best friend didnt listen.

Also as soon as i said no to him, he completely stopped talking to me and started talking to her.. Thats what makes me think it more!!

Thanks again!!


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Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


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Re: She must be as desperate as him (Kinda Long) - March 15th 2012, 04:57 PM

I really think he is just trying to get his Ex jealous he keeps posting things on facebook "With the girlfriend" "Having a great time with the girlfriend" with the other girl he posted "I Love You" all of there facebook but with my friend he just send her emails and things... they have been dating for three days. Im my book i dont believe you can attually be in love with somone unless you know all the ins and outs of it... I'm just worried about my friend


One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.


Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide
   
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Re: She must be as desperate as him (Kinda Long) - March 15th 2012, 08:28 PM

I agree - however just because we agree that you cant love someone over a few days, doesn't mean you cant or its not possible.. I'm always open to giving the benefit of the doubt to people.

I understand how you can be upset, and worried for your friend. I would just let things roll out - because in the end, the truth will be known. Sure, you may have suspicions about certain things right now (which seems like fair observation), but I wouldn't start telling people what you think is going on, because you don't know 100%. Assumptions can be pretty bad to have if you don't know how things are, or how people feel in/about a situation. So just support your friend, and I'm sure that the truth of if he is using her or not will come out eventually.


Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: She must be as desperate as him (Kinda Long) - March 16th 2012, 02:34 PM

Yeah, your right!! Thanks, i just worry about her, she isn't the brightest when it comes to men. And she's been a friend for a while. Thank You very much


One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.


Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide
   
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