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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Unhappy My Best Friend - June 28th 2013, 10:58 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Yesterday I lost my best friend.

His name was Bentley, and he was a Shetland Sheepdog (basically a small collie) that was given to me for Christmas when I was 8 years old. And he was truly my best friend.

Bentley was given to me because I had no friends and was constantly bullied...he was always there for me from the moment we met. From the moment I saw him crawl out of that duffle bag my parents brought him home in. His eyes were beautiful; I'd never seen eyes like it. They had patches of the most beautiful blue in them and it was so unique. As a puppy he followed me everywhere and he cried when he lost sight of me. We were always together, constantly. Even into his adult years, he still followed me everywhere. I'd come out of the shower and he'd be laying outside the door waiting. He was so smart; If I went off to hide and my parents told him to "go find Haru," he'd run off to look for me. He would eventually cheat and sniff me out. He always watched over me and was protective. Once he even dove off the deck and into the pool because I was underwater too long and it scared him. There are so many amazing things I could write about him that it would fill a book.

Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. We took him to the vet to be put down because he couldn't even stand anymore. He didn't have the strength to pull himself up and when he tried he cried in pain. When we got there we learned that he actually had cancer; the vet told us after looking him over. Afterward the vet explained the procedure. She asked if we wanted to leave, but as hard as it was, I said no. As much as we'd been through together, as much as I loved him, I felt I needed to be there for him at the end. I hugged him and kissed his head, and I told him how much I loved him. I told him I would never forget him and I would always love him one last time before he passed on. My dad and the vet left to leave me alone with him, and I just cried and kept petting him, and I found myself apologizing to him along with telling him how much I love him. I have a lot of regrets; I feel like I should've spent more time with him and paid more attention to him while I still could. Like I was a bad friend to him toward the end.

We took him back home in a coffin. I opened it so I could put his ball inside with him; it was his most favorite toy his entire life, he hardly touched any others and he played with that ball for hours on end. I wanted him to take it with him to the other side. We buried him and after I've had time to grieve and compose myself, I'm going to carve out a memorial stone for him and place it at his grave. I know to some all this may sound like a bit much, but Bentley truly was more than a dog to me. He was there for me in a time and in a way that no one else was.

I will always love you, Bentley. From the bottom of my heart.


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Re: My Best Friend - June 28th 2013, 11:11 PM

Hi Haru, I know how hard it is to lose a pet. In the past year I have had three of my cats and one of my oldest dogs put down due to having cancer, or being just too old and not being able to do things on his own. It was hard, but it was easier than watching him suffer. Its hard, but hes in a better place now, hes no longer suffering, and hes watching down on your where ever he may be. Think of him, all the memories you have together, everything you did together, things he did. It will get easier, I have yet to lose the dog that has been there for me through everything, but he is getting pretty close to being very old.
You can do this, it will be hard, but things will get better.
I hope you feel better soon.
   
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Re: My Best Friend - June 29th 2013, 05:51 AM

Aww, Haru, this actually made me cry.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. Dogs are definitely not just pets; they're our best friends and they are always loyal and there for us. Just remember that Bentley is happy now and no longer in pain, and cherish the amazing memories you have of him.
I know it's so hard right now, but things will get better. Time is healing. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always around.

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Re: My Best Friend - June 30th 2013, 11:03 PM

I feel for you. I grew up with Skipper, a purebred schipperke. He was just a couple years old when I was born. He lived to be 16 years old before succumbing to a stroke this January. It was hard at first, but time will eventually take its effect.




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